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Cursing At Myrtle Beach Could Land You A $500 Fine Or Get You Thrown In Fucking Jail

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(Source)- Americans have freedom of speech, but police in Myrtle Beach want you to watch your mouth. Bad words could cost you more than just a slap on the wrist. In the city, you could face a fine or even jail time. Profane language falls under the city’s disorderly conduct offense.

The court makes the ultimate decision, but it could cost you up to $500 and/or 30 days in jail. “If you utter what is essentially fighting words, words designed to provoke a violent reaction from someone else, that’s where you’ll run afoul with this ordinance,” explained Kruea.

Who the fuck does Myrtle Beach think it is? The Hamptons? Nantucket? The Disney Beach Club? A place known as The Redneck Riviera was made for people to indulge in some of the greatest words the English language has to offer. Fining people 500 bucks or throwing them in the paddy wagon for calling someone a piece of shit is an unAmerican as it gets. In fact, I think there should be a law that you cannot get in trouble for cursing if you are in one of the cities where Kenny Powers rested his head during the 4 glorious seasons of Eastbound and Down. I’m pretty sure Bumblefuck, NC and El Bumblefuck, Mexico have never thought of outlawing cursing, so neither should Myrtle Beach.

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If Myrtle Beach wants to outlaw cursing, they have to remove their boardwalk as well. Boardwalks are magnets for debauchery and degenerates, and cursing comes right along with that. The Myrtle Beach government is deliberately putting every carny’s ass in the jackpot by fining/jailing people with a potty mouth. Save those jail cells for people that need them so they can wake up and get their lives together. Like this chick.

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Clean it up, Myrtle Beach. But not literally. #KeepMyrtleGrimey

P.S. Shout out to Myrtle Beach as well as Eastbound and Down for changing the way I look at the songs “Walk Like An Egyptian” and “Far Behind” forever.