I blogged about the sad and angry Knicks fan named Evan Perlmutter that was selling his fandom on eBay the other day and said I fully supported him because the words “sad and angry” are pretty much implied when you are a Knicks fan. If you want to hop off the whatever the opposite of a bandwagon is to bring joy and some cash into your life, go for it. Which he did. And it looks like Evan is taking his talents to Hollywood.
Now, thanks to a winning bid of $3,500 from James Riedel, a 23-year-old Orange County resident who runs a YouTube channel, Perlmutter will be rooting for the Los Angeles Lakers.
“I am a lifelong LeBron James fan, and a Lakers fan of a month and half,” Riedel wrote in an email. “I originally thought about turning Evan into a Nets fan for the torment, but I feel like he should be able to root for the King before he retires.” Riedel added that he plans on attending the Lakers games alongside Perlumtter and record him burning his Knicks merchandise.
The Lakers summer of spending continues! It started with LeBron, continued with the Rondo/JaVale/Lance sideshow and finally concluded with a very disgruntled Knicks fan. I don’t know what the fuck Magic Johnson is building out there, but it sure is something when you list it all out on paper. I personally would never become a LeBron fan after he ripped Cleveland’s heart out, joined Pat The Rat in Miami, and tried to punk Frank Ntilikina at MSG last year. But at least he didn’t have to become a Kobe Stan, which likely includes painting over LeBron murals and inserting Kobe into every MJ vs. LeBron argument while ignoring every season Kobe didn’t have Shaq or Pau. $3500 buys some nice things in life, but it doesn’t buy a soul.
Meanwhile it seems the Knicks didn’t seem all that upset
“We’re sure our millions of loyal Knicks fans won’t mind losing this attention-grabbing gentleman,” the statement reads. “We remain focused on the upcoming season – with a hard-working team that is proud to represent New York and its dedicated fans.”
Ooooooh kill’em. Lets translate that statement for if it was released by the Brooklyn Nets:
I may not have had a ton of nice things say about the Knicks front office or their PR department over the years. But I respect the shit out of what they said. Again, I don’t fault anybody for jumping off this sinking ship. If you want off, get off. But no crawling back when the #superteam reforms behind the Killer K’s of Kevin Knox, Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, and Kristaps Porzingis, which it seems this fan is trying to do.
The more interesting question, though, is where Perlmutter goes from here. Say the Knicks do land a big-time free agent next summer. Would he consider rejoining the team he so publicly broke up with?
“[The post] didn’t clarify how long, I don’t know about the long-term feasibility,” he said. “For at least two years I’m officially off the bandwagon, I’m going to whatever team I get assigned to and when that team plays the Knicks I’ll be booing the Knicks and rooting for the other team.”
No no no (*Dikembe Mutombo voice*). Fuuuuuuuck that. Once you leave this dumpster fire, regardless of if it’s for money, happiness, or sanity, you are out for good. No two years of jumping on the bandwagon and then coming home to New York like the Knicks tried to convince us #Me7o was doing in 2011. ESPECIALLY if you start trashing the future 5 time MVP of the NBA
“I was with my buddies during the draft and this was after a season where we were trying to tank and we couldn’t even do that properly,” he said, seemingly clutching onto the final few days of his ability to deploy the royal “we” when referring to the Knicks. “… And so we have the ninth pick instead of a top-five one and Michael Porter Jr. is sitting there, and for me he was the No. 1 target on my list of guys to draft, and I said to my buddies, I said, ‘If we don’t take Porter and take Knox I’m officially putting my Knicks fandom on eBay.'”
Well now that is just flat out unacceptable. Bash James Dolan for being as bad of an owner as he seems to be as a person. Bash the fans for continuing to go to the games despite a shitty product. Bash me for not chokeslamming every Knicks executive through a table back when I sold Liberty tickets after college when I was trying to get a start in the sports industry. But don’t bash Kevin Knox, our hope and savior. Now I have to rebuke Evan Perlmutter, which to be fair doesn’t move the needle because everybody hates Lakers fans. But still, you are officially rebuked Evan and banned from ever being a Knicks fan again or even smile when you see one of the upcoming 1 million Kevin Knox highlights.
Then again, I am the sucker that has to hope this owner doesn’t fuck up my team’s youth movement.
While Lakers fans have this owner signing GOATs in hopes of bringing the team back to the glory days when her father was in charge.
TL;DR- Being a Lakers fan is much better than being a Knicks fan, whether you are getting paid to do it or not.