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LA Restaurant Plays a Prank on Justin Verlander And Charges Him a Million Dollars For His Meal, But Their Actual Prices Are Fucking Preposterous

He-he ha-ha nice prank by the Cabana Cafe here by charging Verlander a million dollars for face-fucking them in the World Series. Classic $95,000 tax added to the bill too while we’re at it. Well played, well played. But the real story here is this restaurant’s actual prices. $42 for a goddamn salad. A salad? Listen, I’m a broke 24 year old so I don’t eat at the nicest places in the world, but $42 for a salad better guarantee me that thing is so healthy it’s going to cleanse my body of all the bad shit I’ve eaten in my life. There better be a chance I find gold in that salad if I’m paying $42 for it.

Next up, some pancakes. $30!?!? I practically fainted when I saw that. Any breakfast/brunch place I go to I’m getting chocolate chip pancakes and you’re going to charge me $7-9. Anything cheaper than that and I’m going to assume either no one comes to this place or I’m going to have diarrhea for a full year afterwards. Anything in the double digits for pancakes I’m going to second guess my order. Here we’re talking $30? Get the fuck out of here. $30 is a little shy of good steak at any restaurant. You’re paying that for probably three plain pancakes? Nope.

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Finally, cranberry juice being $10. Come on now. I don’t even drink cranberry juice, but if there’s no alcohol in that drink then $10 is insane. I assume this place also charges for water and napkins too. Imagine getting a steak at this joint? Probably $400. Now obviously Justin Verlander is dining at this place with Kate Upton and neither of them have checked their bank accounts in probably 15 years. Money isn’t a thing to them, but this place can’t make its living off just Justin Verlanders and Kate Uptons walking in. I just don’t get it. Are people really willing to pay that much just so they can see these celebs at the restaurant and maybe grab a picture? Buddy, you could tell me Leo, Affleck, and Damon are dining in the corner over there and I’m still not paying $42 for a fucking salad. Listen, if you think I’m cheap let me know, but I don’t think I am. I’m just reasonable.