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Get a Load of This Crocodile Swimming with a Pool Noodle

Crocodile noodle

Crocodile noodle2

SourceA crocodile had a little support while crossing a canal in Key Largo, Fla., earlier this month — a yellow pool noodle.

The creature was caught on camera resting on the pool noodle as it swam across the water near mile marker 105 of the Overseas Highway, a 113-mile road that runs through the Florida Keys.

“I saw the croc off my balcony swimming up the canal,” local Victor Perez told Fox News on Wednesday. “My first thought was, ‘What happened to the person that was on the noodle?'”

At first, Perez said he didn’t see the large reptile. The floating device appeared to be drifting away in the water behind his home.

Great job, Florida. Thanks for this. It’s exactly the kind of reckless, suicidal behavior we’ve come to expect from the residents of America’s Dong. Giving help to an apex predator that clearly doesn’t need it. I mean, you don’t see people in Alaska handing their guns over to grizzlies or people from Arizona pumping rattlesnakes full of even more poison. But down in Death’s On-Deck Circle they’re taking the toys the rest of us use to teach kids to swim and letting them fall into the claws of these cold-blooded murder logs. Thanks a bunch.

This is how evolution happens. It’s all about adaptations. Creatures find ways to move beyond their own ecosystem and thrive. We’ve had these nasty, prehistoric fuckers limited to swamps and maybe a few feet along the banks. Now Florida is giving them human toys and allowing them to learn our ways. Why not just give them those propeller things that pull divers through the water? How about skateboards and bikes? Teach them how to walk upright and drive cars? Victor Perez is worried about the person that was on the noodle? I’m worried about my place on the top of the food chain, thank you very much. As far as I’m concerned, whoever let this weapon fall into the hands of one of our greatest threats is a race traitor and deserved to die. The good news at least is that, if they do start learning to use pool noodles to swim better, Floridians will be the first to go.