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BREAKING: Erik Karlsson Is Getting Traded. Or He's Not. But He Might Be. We'll See I Guess

Pittsburgh Penguins v Ottawa Senators


Up until today, all of the Erik Karlsson trade rumors have been coming from… smaller(?) named journos trying to scoop the big dawgs. No disrespect to those guys or anything but it’s been said about a million times. Unless a rumor is coming from guys with names like Bob McKenzie, Darren Dreger, Elliotte Friedman, Chris Johnston or Pierre LeBrun, then don’t believe it. But now it appears we have reached threat level midnight because those are the guys who are pumping out the Karlsson rumors today.

Now the Erik Karlsson sweepstakes have become a goddamn circus act this summer considering it was reported at least like 5 dozen times that he had already been traded. Time and time again, those rumors came up empty and now it’s just become this abusive relationship that I’ve found myself in. Every time a new Karlsson trade rumor comes up, I promise myself that I’m not going to believe it. I promise myself that I’m just going to let this one go because I’ve been hurt too many times before. But for some reason, I just can’t quit the rumors and I take them right back in my life. I know what kind of damage I’m doing to myself both physically and emotionally here. But for some reason I just keep coming back for more.

So yeah. Here I am now absolutely terrified to leave my apartment because I know that the moment I find myself away from my computer, Erik Karlsson is going to get traded. Do you know what it’s like to live with that level of crippling anxiety? Can’t even leave the goddamn house. The goddamn Ottawa Senators are ruining my life with this shit and they need to finally make a move here.

As you see in the Friedman tweet, it still sounds like the Sens are set on getting Erik Karlsson out of the Eastern Conference. The team that makes the most sense has always been the Vegas Golden Knights. If the Trade Deadline had just been a couple hours later, Erik Karlsson probably would have finished out last season with Vegas. They have the prospects, they have the draft picks, they have the cap space. It all makes sense with Vegas, almost too much sense. Then you have the Dallas Stars who have been involved in plenty of these rumors. You also have the Colorado Avalanche who not only have the cap space, but they also already have Ottawa’s 1st round pick in the 2019 draft. Could Ottawa be looking to get that pick back? Considering they’d be losing Mike Hoffman and Erik Karlsson in one offseason, that pick is most likely end up being a top 3 pick. If I’m Colorado, I don’t give that shit back just out of principle because they were idiots about it in the first place. And then there’s the Vancouver Canucks who really just came out of fucking nowhere. I don’t know. I’m sure Vancouver is nice and everything but I really just don’t see Erik Karlsson signing there long term after his contract is up next summer. Bo Horvat is a real solid player, I have a man crush on Boeser, then they also have a couple of beast Swedish prospects in Elias Pettersson and Jonathan Dahlen. But I just don’t see Vancouver being a good enough team for Karlsson to be interested in signing with for 8 years. I could be wrong but I don’t think I am.

So yeah. There’s finally been some actual life injected back into the Erik Karlsson rumors and this time those rumors are coming from the right people. But who knows anymore with this shit. All I know is that I want to crush up all of these rumors into a fine powder on a mirror right now because this is what the NHL offseason is all about.