The Phillies Suck Right Now, And That's Ok

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The Phillies lost 10-4 last night to the fucking Nats. They couldn’t take advantage of runners in scoring position, the bullpen is shit, the offense is shit, the defense is shit, fire Gabe. It’s the same song and dance we have been witnessing all month. So I was thinking this morning about how to create a positive spin on this game so here it is….at least this team is struggling in August than in September.

There is no denying how bad the Phillies are playing right now. I don’t want to run from it and scream my tits off on Twitter. I want to embrace it. I want to love how bad the Phillies are playing because it will make success in September that much better. Yes, watching Gabe’s boys play baseball has been miserable of, Un-Watchable and borderline Un-Bloggable. They are literally the worst team in baseball in almost every category since August 8th. Have a look for yourself.

Relief Pitching: granted these numbers are inflated by Scott Kingery and Roman Quinn’s legendary relief appearance last week.

2nd Highest ERA in the MLB

Highest BAA and OPS against in MLB

Highest WHIP in MLB

Worst LOB% in MLB

Starting Pitching:

3rd Highest ERA in NL

3rd Highest BAA in NL

3rd Highest BABIP in MLB – this ties into defense, which has been consistently bad all season


2nd Most errors in MLB

Worst Fielding % in MLB

2nd Worst DefEff (% of Balls in Play converted to outs) in NL


4th Lowest OPS

36 RBI, 2nd Lowest in MLB

24 BB, 2nd Lowest in MLB

3rd Worst BA with Runners on Base in MLB

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So what’s the plan now? Do we wallow and hide our tail between our legs like a Pete Mackanin squad would do or do we grab those 95 LB dumbbell’s and curl them until our veins pop like a Gabe Kapler squad. Literally, no one, not even Philly’s own want the Phillies to succeed. Since this club and its manager get no respect in its own city, then why would the MLB.


The Cut4 one might be my favorite tweet of all time. The fucking 95-99 Chokin’ Indians get mentioned before the 2007-2011, Philadelphia Phillies. Let me repeat, the 5-time NL East winning, World Champion, 2007-2011 Phillies over the 5-time, Roid Raging, Indians.

The past two weeks are over and those stats I mentioned, just go ahead and throw them in the trash. It’s over and done with. It’s what we do over the next two weeks that will define this club. August is a stupid month for baseball anyway.

The Nationals may have waved the white flag by trading Daniel Murphy and Matt Adams, yet they went out and dominated us last night. There is no white flag in Philadelphia. Gabe Van Damme sticks to the motto, “No Surrender, No Retreat.” Tonight we have to go through Strasburg who is 10-2 with a 2.22 in his career against the Phillies. He is fresh off the DL and if history has taught us anything, he will probably head back there in a matter of days. Odds are not in our favor, but like I said earlier, that’s ok. There is still ? of the season left to play. Plenty of winning to be done in these next 37 games.

In Gabe We Trust. Go Phils.