Travel Company Launches a "Mile-Low Club" Submarine Bang Voyage
Fox News — We’ve all heard of the Mile-High Club but what about the Mile-Low Club? If you’ve ever wondered what true romance is like deep below the sea, then your time has finally come. U.K.-based Oliver’s Travels recently announced the latest in aquatic luxury, launched just in time for Valentine’s Day. This romantic submarine package, using speciality adapted submarines aptly named Lovers Deep, will send couples into secluded isolation below the sea and caters to every romantic whim, according to The Daily Mail. Passengers can enjoy stunning marine views while cuddling down below, and they can feast on a unique, aphrodisiac tasting menu with dishes like oysters, caviar and a chocolate fondant with essence of pomegranate. There is even a petal-scattering service and a champagne breakfast in bed. During the voyage, guests can dive down as far as 650 ft. below the ocean’s surface –talk about leaving the world behind. Of course, such exclusivity doesn’t come cheap. Custom packages for the Mile-Low Club begin around $284,000.
“What’s the Mile-Low Club?!”
Come for the romance, stay for the clams. What a load of shit this is though. Hey submarine company, you almost got me. Joining the mile-low club is a once in a lifetime thing. Any John J Rando can join the mile-high club, but only pirates and mermaids can join the mile-low club. So naturally you have to pay the $284k to join it. But wait! It’s not even close to a mile low. I did some quick mental math, and its about 12% of a mile! Why the fuck would I want to bang out a chick 12% of mile low? I could go to my bathtub and do virtually the same thing. Buy some goldfish at the Petsmart, put on some Enya, and you just saved yourself $283,950. When it comes down to it, at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, if I’m paying for a mile-low club, I want to go down a mile low. Don’t care if it takes all damn day to get there and my ears are popping and it’s pitch black and there’s no cute fish to look at. A mile is a mile is a mile. Give me a mile or give me nothing at all.
PS: This chick looks like real life Ariel.
h/t Baltimore blogger @BarstoolBanks. Follow him.