There Are Rumors That The Raiders Will Have A Jail And A Courtroom In Their New Stadium

Clem8/20/2018 6:48 PM

I have never been so disappointed about such a smart decision in my life. I have become the Alonzo Mourning gif because this bums me out but it also makes perfect sense. The Raiders moving to Oakland was a match made in heaven on so many levels. You had the bad boy franchise of the NFL with the craziest fanbase in America moving to a place with the nickname Sin City. Everything about that sentence screams PUT A JAIL AND A COURTROOM AND MAYBE EVEN AN ELECTRIC CHAIR IN THAT STADIUM.

But I was hoping the Las Vegas Raiders would go the other way. I wanted the Raiders to take the homefield advantage of the Black Hole full of crazy weirdos and add the X-factor of Las Vegas to the mix, which would be like putting gasoline on top of a 4-alarm blaze that I watched from the comfort of my own home 2500 miles away. We already had stories of Raiders-themed brothels in the works and I was hoping the team would embrace that side of Vegas instead of the Disney World For Adults side. If a fan or a player was completely out of hand, Mark Davis could dress up as Captain Raider and enforce true pirate’s justice which would either be walking a plank into a tank full of sharks or sentencing them to the Boo Box, which would all be broadcast on the jumbotron for the fans to cheer on.

If the NFL wants fans to keep coming to their games instead of saving money/time by watching Red Zone in the comfort of their own homes, these are the types of ideas they have to embrace.

Instead it looks like Vegas is going to try to keep everything as clean as possible while also giving Eagles fans a way to deflect when people bring up that the Vet had a jail and a courtroom underneath it for all the savages Philadelphia had to offer.

What a goddamn shame. This morning I literally wrote about how great it is to watch Raiders fans fight each other and whatever fans are in arm’s length and how I hoped nothing would change when the team moved their ~~fight club~~ stadium from Oakland to Vegas. Then this tweet from some Twitter handle I admittedly have never heard of ends up on my timeline and my heart is broken. You need to let this group of maniacs be themselves for the Raiders to truly be great again.

The Las Vegas mayor after the first quarter of the first preseason game in the new stadium: