DOWN GOES SPRINTING DRUNK DUDE! DOWN GOES SPRINTING DRUNK DUDE! BLOODBATH!
I wish it didn’t have to be that way. I was really hoping the guy was gonna blast right through the parking garage arm like a high school football team blasting through a homecoming banner. But nope. Dude got flat dominated but the parking garage arm. Pancake city. One of the side effects of being hammered drunk is the unwillingness to turn down a challenge. You become Superman. It’s a tale as old as time. Sober you doesn’t think you can jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and front flip into the pool. Drunk you is disgusted that anybody thinks you can’t jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and front flip into the the pool. That’s what drinking does.
I’m glad it happens because it allows Barstool Sports and our other Instagram accounts to exist. It includes challenges nobody challenged you to. Nobody challenged that guy to run through that parking garage arm. He was all by himself. That challenge came from within and he still couldn’t deny it. It didn’t work out but he can take solace in the fact that he tried. The police are gonna want to speak with him but whatever.