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Colombia Health Official -- "Stop Having Sex To Fight The Heat Wave"

BOGOTA, ColombiaHealth officials in one Colombian coastal city have a controversial recommendation for residents trying to stay cool during an intense heat wave: Take a break from sex.

Santa Marta city health secretary Julio Salas sparked a mix of laughter and disbelief this week when he urged residents of the Caribbean tourist mecca to refrain from sex during the day as part of a list of recommendations, such as staying hydrated and wearing loose clothing to prevent overheating.

Sex is considered only a moderate physical activity, as much of a strain on the heart as walking up two flights of stairs, according to the American Heart Association.

Temperatures in Santa Marta have soared past 40 degrees Celsius (104 degrees Fahrenheit) and Salas says medical facilities in the city of 600,000 have been overwhelmed with patients complaining of symptoms of heat stroke such as nausea and headaches.

Live look at me in any temperature over 80 degrees:

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The fact that Colombians need to stop having sex when the temperatures have “soared past [104 degrees Fahrenheit]” is nuts! I feel like Colombia is similar to the United States in the 1840s as far as technological advancements are concerned. People on the prairie used to just crank out kids because what else are they gonna do? Entertain themselves? With what? Electricity wasn’t invented yet. There’s a good shot that the majority of Colombians don’t have electricity, so they just get it on.

Humans are DISGUSTING. Even when it’s not hot out, humans are moist, smelly, and expel noises at random times. When the temperature is triple digits, being in the same room with other humans is unbearable. Everyone is swimming in their clothes, papers stick to forearms like no one’s business, and, worst of all, there’s always that one person that says, “Well, it beats the cold.” Sure, maybe before we had indoor plumbing it beat the cold because every time you had to take a leak you had to strap on your boots and trudge across the yard to the outhouse. With modern amenities, the cold beats the warm every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Maybe the smell of trash is a Colombian aphrodisiac, because there was a Colombian garbage crisis just a few short months ago.

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The mayor of the Colombian capital vowed on Wednesday to end a strike-related garbage crisis that has led to angry protests.

 

Even with the strike, 12,500 tons of garbage have been collected, Herrera said, emphasizing that the city government “is focused on picking up 100 percent of the refuse.”

Congratulations to this health official for saying what apparently no one else was thinking: you will feel cooler if you stop putting your body as close as humanly possible to another body. Really breaking some intellectual boundaries with that type of insight. Either way, Colombians can’t keep their undoubtedly sticky hands off of each other during this heat wave.