"That Wasn't Easy - Woman At Staples: Not Shoplifting, Just Pregnant With Twins" By Condition Kid/Mantis

A pregnant woman shopping at Staples says she was confronted about what she was concealing beneath her shirt: “Twins,” she said. Sounds like an intro to a porno. I feel for this woman. My whole life, people have approached me and asked “What’s under your shirt?” Which is the nice way of asking me, “Whats wrong with you.” I also can’t go through TSA without being treated like a terrorist. You would think my ribs are sidearms and my ass is a bag of cocaine attached with a C4.

What is even worth stealing at Staples anyways? For big mistake erasers? Most of their headphones break in a couple months anyways. I wish the officer would have asked her if she works out before asking to lift up her shirt. Bad cop. If she thought this day was bad, just wait till she has to shoot those twins out of her poor hole.

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