Kanye West Says It's Not His Fault He Fights Paparazzi, He's Just A Blowfish

(Source) Self-described God Kanye West has a new, more humble metaphor for himself, saying in an interview with GQ that he’s like a porcupine, or maybe a blowfish. Explaining his outrage that paparazzi hound his every move, West says that he does not seek to pick fights but has to push back when cornered.

“I don’t have fangs,” he says. “I’m a porcupine. I’m a blowfish. Like, I’m a — what’s the fish that blows up?” After being told the fish that blows up is the aforementioned blowfish, West continues: So that perfect example about me hitting my head [while ducking to flee the media], it’s like a blowfish. I wasn’t coming out of my house going to a paparazzi’s house to attack them. I’m defending my family in front of my own house. I’m defending my name as someone’s screaming something negative at me. That’s a blowfish. People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people. [GQ] So there you have it: Kanye West is — in addition to being a rapper, producer, and clothing designer — a blowfish. Given West’s tendency to effusively laud himself ad nauseam, the comparison to a windbag seems apt.

Wait, did Kanye just find a legal loophole for assaulting people? He’s just a blowfish, he didn’t attack anyone, they just poked him and he did what any blowfish would do and started punching people. Have you ever been to an aquarium? Do you even get what a blowfish is idiots?

Here’s the true point of this story though. I think anyone who is a paparazzi is a total scumbag. Lowest of low. There really is no debating that. But Kanye, you married the single biggest Fame Whore of all time. Not of the moment or the year, of all time. The chick that is famous because she got fucked on camera, that’s it. When you do that you lose all rights to complain about the Paparazzi harassing you. This is the very definition of “You made your bed, now sleep in it”. Don’t marry Kim Kardashian and then say, oh shit, I’m just defending my family, I’m a blowfish. If you didn’t want to be endlessly harassed you would have found one of the other  billion women on earth to fuck. There is zero sympathy from rational people here, zero. Now please go back to making good music.

PS
These are the times I wish Mo was still around so he could tell us this is just Kanye’s genius. No joke, I genuinely appreciated that point of view.