Just A Totally Normal Love Story About A Woman Planning To Marry A Zombie Doll
Metro- Felicity Kadlec a 19 year old woman from Massachusetts, has fallen in love with a zombie doll. The teenager has revealed that she’s in a romantic relationship with the doll and that she’s hoping they will get married. Felicity says that she has been in a relationship with her zombie doll, Kelly, for the past three years. She’s even got her name tattooed on her arm. The doll was gifted to Felicity when she was just 13, purchased from a ‘creepy doll collection website’. Explaining how her relationship with Kelly the doll started, Felicity explained: ‘I found Kelly on a creepy doll collection website and I was gifted her when I was 13. But it wasn’t until I was 16-years-old that I started to get feelings for her, but it was something that I kept on trying to deny.’
She went on to say: ‘I have had boyfriends in the past, and I always thought that I was in love with them – but they never made me feel the way I do now. Unfortunately a lot of people don’t understand our relationship, but I am so confident that I’m in love with Kelly that I got her name tattooed on my arm. We have an intimate relationship which is progressing in the normal way – and we are getting married in September.’
Love is love is love is love. That’s 2018 folks. This is what happens when you realize everyone in the world is a piece of shit. You don’t settle and end up being miserable with a horrible person for the rest of your life like everybody else ends up doing. You transcend the situation and marry your childhood doll who happens to be a disgusting and terrifying zombie. I get it. I had a green Care Bear when I was a kid that I’d wife up in two seconds. I took that bear everywhere. That bear was the most loyal friend I’ve ever had so I get where this zombie doll-marrying lady is coming from. That green Care Bear would treat me right. Again, love is love is love is love.
The only people mad about this are the men and women who didn’t think of it first. What a bunch of suckers they are. The men and women who married real human people are sick to their stomachs right now. Living and breathing humans are far and away the worst things to marry. Think about how miserable every married person you know is. Married folks gotta be thinking, “You mean to tell me that I didn’t have to marry an actual human? I could’ve just picked out a doll and lived happily ever after in peace and quiet?” Divorces are about to skyrocket. People are about to be marrying dolls all over the place.
