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Deflategate III: The Steelers Had a Deflated 'Marshmallow' Ball on Their Sidelines

SourceThe NFL is investigating after the Steelers were using a deflated football during the third quarter of Thursday night’s preseason game against the Eagles, according to Howard Eskin of WIP.

Eskin, who was working the game as the sideline reporter on the Eagles’ broadcast, said he saw the football in question and it was “like a marshmallow.”

The incident took place during the third quarter while Mason Rudolph was playing quarterback for the Steelers, according to Eskin.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!! Underinflated footballs! Cheating! Integrity! Truth! Facts! Fairness! Competitive advantage!!!

There’s only one response to this and that is obviously to launch a multi-million dollar fair and impartial investigation! Call the lawyers! Get Exponent on the line! We’ll need all the texts of every low level Steelers game day employee going back two years! And Ben Roethlisberger’s and Mason Rudolph’s phones to see if they were signing merchandise for the assistants, pronto! Crack legal team? ASSEMMMBLLLE!!! 


Oh wait. Never mind:

OK. That’s all. Crisis averted. Go back to your homes, citizens. The Case of the Steelers Mysterious Marshmallow Ball doesn’t need to be solved by the NFL or anything. They can leave that one to Wilson or the Scooby Gang or whomever. I mean, it’s not like the Steelers have a history of this sort of thing, right?

Wrong. Whoopsie:


But again, this marshmallow ball was on the Pittsburgh sideline, not New England’s. So there’s no reason to look into it any further. They got away scot free with Deflategate II, they’ll skate on Deflategate III. Even if they are repeat offenders. Or if their head coach once went onto the field to trip Jacoby Jones:


Let’s just all move past it, agree that the Steelers are innocent until proven even more innocent, pretend it never happened and move on.

And before you dare comment something along the lines of this was a preseason game so it doesn’t matter and Patriots fans have to lighten up and get over themselves, you owe us an honest answer to this: What would the reaction be if a deformed marshmallow football was found anywhere within 500 miles of Gillette last night? It wouldn’t be the complete free pass these repeat cheaters are getting. Not by a damned sight.

Welcome to fairness and justice in Roger Goodell’s little dictatorship.