Ruth Reed says she met Urban at a Medford Wawa ahead of his concert Friday night in Camden. Substitute teacher Reed says she had made a resolution to help Wawa customers and jumped at the chance when the man ahead of her was short a few dollars.
Reed says he thanked her and said his name was Keith. When she remarked that he looked like Keith Urban, he said he was. Not believing him, Reed asked his body guard to confirm she was talking to the musician. She says, “It was then I realized what an idiot I was.”
Okay so to start off real quick, that first line from the Associated Press is laugh out loud funny. I feel like every town has those one or two junkies who always just hang out front of the local Wawa. They’re constantly asking for cigarettes and such. You never know if they’re fully homeless or not but you can tell they sure as shit are as close to possible if they’re not already. And this poor, sweet, old lady thought she was helping out one of those crackheads when she offered to pay for Keith Urban’s Wawa bill. If it weren’t for the highlights in the hair, I’d say Keith Urban completely fits the description. Long straggly hair, tattoos, rail thin. There is a very fine line between “country music star” and “down-and-out man”, and I think that line is Keith Urban.
Anyway, I have a few issues here. For starters–it’s 2018. Who in the fuck is still paying for things with cash these days? How does Keith Urban or somebody in Keith Urban’s entourage not have a debit card on them? Nobody has carried cash on them since ‘Nam. Not only does it free up space in your pockets, but it’s also a great way to not have to give the homeless people any spare change without having to feel guilty about it. Surprised Keith Urban didn’t have to fuel up his dinosaur at Wawa paying with cash like that (that’s a joke about being old).
Secondly–what in the frickin’ heck was Keith Urban trying to buy and how the hell did he not know that he couldn’t afford all of it with how much cash he had on hand. That’s just poor Wawa etiquette. I’ve never once in my lifetime been in a Wawa where there isn’t at least a small line at the register. You want to know how small lines snowball into gigantic lines that then end up taking 15 minutes to get through? It’s jackasses like Keith Urban who get up there and hold up the whole goddamn process. Buddy, if you had $5 in your pockets then you can get a sizzli and a drink. That’s it. Go up there, pay your $4.69 and get out of there. Instead this dude probably grabbed a few drinks, took a few items from the refrigerated section, maybe ordered a honey smoked turkey sandwich from the kiosk, got a stuffed pretzel and a few TastyKakes for the road. Then when he’s next up in line? Then what? He’s just completely baffled that $5 won’t cover the whole thing? It’s selfish is what it is. Thank god this sweet, old woman was there to expedite the process and give the homeless looking country music star some cash to get that line moving quickly. Without her help, who knows, maybe there would still be a long ass line in that Medford Wawa to this very minute.
Just saying. I dare Keith Urban to try to pull that shit at the Wawa on 20th and Hamilton. People have gotten stabbed for far less.