'Vagina Beer Made with the Essence of Good Looking Models' is Finally a Reality

Source – A beer made from the ‘vaginal lactic acid of hot underwear models’ has gone on sale in Poland.

The vagina beer has been launched by a brewery known as “The Order of Yoni” from the Polish capital city of Warsaw.

Yoni is the Sanskrit word for female genitals.

Customers can now buy the beer and taste the ‘essence’ of good looking models at various pubs after its debut on July 28 in the city of Katowice.

The brewery’s website colourfully describes the sensations customers might expect from the beer saying: “Imagine the woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion.

“Now you can try how she tastes, feel her smell, hear her voice.

“Now imagine her giving you a passionate massage and gently whispering anything you’d like to hear.

“Now free your fantasies and imagine all of that can be encompassed in a bottle of beer.”

However, one of the first customers who tasted the beer, Grzegorz Majewski, was not over impressed, saying that at 25 zloty (£5) a beer costs the same as a normal bottle of wine.

I know as the craft beer industry takes off – and nowhere is it exploding like it is here in New England – there’s an inevitable backlash against Beer Snobs. Well I’m here to say there’s something I hate more: The Reverse Beer Snob. The guy who thinks you’re a pretentious, elitist twit any time you drink an IPA or order something that wasn’t mass produced in a factory someplace. Somebody like Grzegorz Majewski here.

Hey Grzegorz, sorry you have to shell out 25 zloty, but what part of “beer made from the vaginal lactic acid of hot underwear models” sounded like PBR to you? It’s a miracle Vagina Beer costs the same as wine, because grapes grow on trees and as far as I know, hot underwear model vaginas do not.

It’s supply and demand, cheapskate. If you want to taste essence of the woman of your dreams, her charm, her sensuality, her passion, her taste, smell and voice it comes at a price. And if someone can hand me a 12-ounce bottle of Gal Gadot …

… giving me a massage and whispering “the Patriots will win more Super Bowls” in my ear, that’s worth all the zlotys I have. So lighten up. And for God’s sakes, somebody start importing Vagina Beer to the States, please.