Whoops!

Large8/03/2018 12:02 PM

Morning.

About to start hour #2 with Willie on Barstool Radio… We are having some inappropriate conversations about midgets and porn. Tune in, if you get a chance.

I think a lot has already been written about Urban Meyer in light of the recent allegations that he knowingly kept a coach on staff with a history of domestic abuse… Probably too much.

I have no wood to chop with Urban, per-se… I don’t like him, but I might put all that aside to have him coach my alma-mater, even taking into consideration these most recent proceedings.

The reason I bring him up is that hearing his name in the headlines tied to a scandal reminded me of a tiny scandal of my own involving Urban that I am sure he will also deny knowing anything about.

When I was doing takeareport, there were only 3 occasions that I took a blog down after I published it.

The first was when I made fun of a guy with a “milky eye” that I rode the elevator with that morning while I was working at CITI. Later that day I wrote a blog mulling over what the proper etiquette was when conversing with a person with fucked up eyes… Do you stare at the good one? Do you try to give equal times to both, even though one is clearly just decorative? Or do you focus on the person’s nose and just hope for the best?

I thought the line of questioning wasn’t too inappropriate, but the problem lied with the fact that the guy I was using as an example was clearly a guy who worked in my building. And within minutes of posting I got an internal e-mail from someone I didn’t know at Citi with only one word in it: “Coward.”

Milky Eye must’ve went to his desk and read my shit, or had a workmate who read my shit point it out to him, and he was humiliated because I am a thoughtless asshole.

So I deleted the blog immediately, deleted the one word email also, and I began using the stairs from there on out.

I feel comfortable re-telling that story now, because it seems that wonky eyes are fair game here at Barstool… Apologies, Riggs… VIVA!

Second time I deleted a blog, it was at the request of asshole NHL Hall of Fame member Ray Bourque after I reported a TRUE STORY about the time he drunkenly assaulted me in front of a packed dining room in his own restaurant.

Similar to Milky Eye, I was hurt and humiliated, but I still did the right thing and took the story down. But assault is assault, Ray, and I still can’t eat ossobuco without crying.

And the third time I removed a piece of content, it involved Urban Meyer.

In 2006, when Urban was coach at Florida, I posted a picture of Urban’s daughter in a bikini laying in between two other bikini-clad gals. They were stacked on top of each other like a sexy little Oreo.

There were 2 images that popped up just now when I Googled “sexy Oreo”.

Here’s the first…

But I kinda like the second…

But getting back to the story… As soon as the post hit, someone I knew to be a big Urban Meyer fan hit me on Bloomberg, and he asked me to take it down… I think it was a guy I actually liked at the time named Greg, but I cant be sure. I would reach out to confirm, but I think he lives down in Texas now, and I just don’t have the motivation. For the sake of this story, his name is still “Greg”.

So Greg hits me and says, “Large, you gotta take that fucking thing down about Meyer’s daughter.”

And I replied, “Relax, jerk… You fucking Meyer fans are so cocky when your rolling through the SEC every year, but someone posts the smallest negative thing about ‘Saint Urban’, and you assholes lose your fucking minds.”

Instead of ranting back to me, Greg took the high-road and simply typed back, “She’s 15 years old, Large.”

Whoops!

So I immediately took that shit down, and apologized profusely to Greg and the rest of Meyer nation (Go Buckeyes!). And now, 12 years later, I fondly reminisce on the 20 minutes or so in 2006 that I was a child pornographer.