Only 364 More Days Until Next Year's Hockey Try Outs, Gotta Toughen Up

Now I’m not going to get up here and act like I’m some sort of fitness guru. But what I am an expert in is doing a bunch of random ass exercises that make it look like I know when I’m doing when in reality, it’s just an easy way for me to use as little weight as possible in the gym without looking like a total bitch. Lotta bosu ball workouts, lotta medicine ball workouts. People think maybe I’m training for something when the reality of the situation is just that I’m just sick and tired of getting off the bench and having somebody throw an extra 45 on each side just for their warm up. It’s just super emasculating. Ya know?

With that being said… I’m not entirely sure how you can play off this particular workout right here.  The only reasonable explanation is that our guy is a hockey player and he’s trying to build up that dick strength to block some shots. I know what you’re thinking. Why would you need dick strength to block shots when you’re wearing a cup? Well because not everybody wears a cup, you jabroni. They’re uncomfortable and they’re cumbersome. Plus nothing beats the feeling of the boys flowing freely through the air as you’re wheeling down the ice.


So while some people may see some psychopath using his $30/month LA Fitness membership to give himself a homemade vasectomy, I see a guy who is willing to do whatever it takes to help his hockey team to glory. And I don’t care how many steroids anybody in that gym is taking. You can’t workout heart, and this dude has the most swole heart in the whole damn building.