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Potty Pusher Shovels Shit As Punishment For Disgusting Act

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New York PostA judge known for unique sentences has ordered a man who knocked over a port-a-potty to clean manure out of animal pens at a county fairgrounds in Ohio.

Judge Michael Cicconetti recently suspended most of a 120-day jail sentence for 18-year-old Bayley Toth, who pleaded guilty and was convicted of criminal mischief, in favor of the creative punishment of cleaning up waste from animals at Lake County’s fairgrounds.

The municipal court judge compared Toth’s actions to those of an animal, saying “you act like an animal, you’re going to take care of animals.”

Authorities say the Painesville man spent a night with friends knocking over objects, including a port-a-potty, at a park.

“An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. -Hammurabi”                                                                                                                                – Judge Michael Cicconetti, apparently.

I fuck with it. Getting your port-a-potty (shouldn’t it be porta-potty?) tipped over while you’re inside, already regretting how you ended up in this god awful situation, is one of my biggest fears. It doesn’t seem like anyone was in the john that Bayley Toth tipped over but the fact is, anyone sick enough to knock one of those shit lodges over is undoubtedly capable of doing the same thing with someone inside. We can’t have people like that in our society just running around going unpunished. Bayley Toth needed to be taught a lesson and this punishment sounds like it will do the trick.

I think it would’ve been more fitting to force him to clean up all the shit people drop in the port-a-potties at some giant music festival or something. I want this asshole cleaning up gallons of beer shits and that mysterious blue water that smells like a mix between aftershave and my grandma’s house. I want Bayley Toth to go home with liquid shit in places he only shows his girlfriend and his pastor. That was a joke about the Catholic church, but I don’t really know how churches work so I hope it makes sense. All I’m saying is you never hear any stories about rabbis diddling kids. Just a little food for thought.

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While we’re on the topic of disgusting acts, I leave you with one of the greatest NFL TD celebrations of all-time, followed by one of the funniest announcing moments of all-time. Never change, Randy Moss.