Jet Powered Hoverboards Are Finally Here And They Look AWESOME

In the words of Kenny Powers, “finally mother fucker.” I’ve been watching hoverboard videos for years and this is honestly the first time I’ve seen one and thought, “yup, that could work.” The operator wasn’t shaky or nervous, he stst hopped on and starting zipping around like the Green Goblin. I’m sure he’s had some practice but still, the ease at which he was able to navigate the skies gives people like me hope. Just the thought of being able to replace the subway with a hoverboard gives me boner.  “But Pat, the subway isn’t even that bad!” Wrong.  This is what I deal with on a daily basis.

It’s so bad that even if the technology wasn’t as advanced as it appears, I’d still give it a shot just to avoid riding the subway. Come to think of it I’d probably stop walking all together. I’d hover to the bathroom, hover to the store, hover to the fridge. It’d be great.

Unfortunately, I’m sure the FAA will intervene and prevent these things from becoming a reality but it’s fun to think about. For now I’ll just have to deal with the fact that hoverboards are only for the rich. If I wanted to I could ride a jet ski powered one, but the risk doesn’t seem worth the reward. God forbid you turn upside down you would shoot directly to the bottom of the ocean to the earths core. No thanks.