Wow. Hey Julio…
You are officially on notice. That 10 year old is going to *checks notes* change the hell out of his phone screen if you don’t show up to camp. Don’t like the money you’re being paid? Tough luck, hombre. Because you are about to be replaced by Matt Ryan or Devonta Freeman. He hasn’t really decided yet, maybe not until after a new episode of Suite Life tonight, but Julio just wait. That kid will swap you out and then play Candy Crush before going to bed at 7:30. So your move, Julio. Word to the wise, end the hold out. There’s no coming back from that.
PS: The name “Buck Lanford” is the perfect old southern sports anchor name. And of course he goes by BL. You could tell me he’s right out of Anchorman and I’d 100% believe you.