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That Tour De France Rider Who Crashed Over A Wall Yesterday? He Shattered His Kneecap But Still Rode For Another 60Km. Must Be A Hockey Player

In case you missed it, Tour de France rider Philippe Gilbert took a nice little spill over this wall in yesterday’s stage of the race. Now there’s an age old saying in the Tour de France that goes, “as long as nobody dies, you’re allowed to laugh at a crash if you want”. I mean, I’d love to see any of you try to fly down this hill at that speed and stay in control on that turn. But considering Philippe Gilbert was able to take this one like a champ and hop back on his bike? If you want to let out a few giggles about the crash then you have every right to do so. However, it’s not like Philippe Gilbert was able to escape that tumble completely injury free. So here’s what he tweeted this morning.

Big ass crash over the wall. Broken kneecap. Still gets back on the bike to ride another 60km to finish the stage. Philippe Gilbert was without a doubt a hockey player in a past life because he is one Hockey Tough son of a bitch. Could you imagine if LeBron were ever to break his kneecap during a game? He’d retire right there on the spot and just focus on making movies for the rest of his life. Could you imagine if Neymar broke his kneecap during a game? The dude acts like his kneecap gets shattered every time somebody accidentally breaths on him too heavily. If he actually ever got injured, I’d have to imagine that he would die. Could you imagine if Gary Sanchez broke his kneecap during a game? He’d ask if he could ride a motorized scooter to first base.

Basically what I’m getting at here is Philippe Gilbert is tough as nails. Shit on cyclists all you want but finishing off a stage of the tour with a broken kneecap is some psycho shit. It’s not like these guys are just taking a ride around town on a bike. It’s not like they’re on the boardwalk or anything with a nice, easy, flat ride. These guys are riding up and down a bunch of goddamn mountains. And Philippe Gilbert is doing it with a baseball replacing his kneecap. Somebody get this guy on a pair of skates.