BURLINGTON, Iowa —Authorities say four 13-year-old students in southeast Iowa’s Burlington have been charged after their scheme to bake marijuana-laced cookies in a home economics class was discovered. The Hawk Eye newspaper says the four were arrested and released Wednesday. Two are charged with felony delivery of marijuana and two with misdemeanor possession. The Associated Press generally doesn’t name juveniles accused of crimes. Burlington police Lt. Jeff Klein says the four attended Edward Stone Middle School. Several other students knew about the plan and notified school officials that the pot had been mixed into the cookie dough Tuesday during the home ec class. Klein says the dough was stored overnight, but the scheme was thwarted on Wednesday before the dough was baked.
First of all, how do a bunch of 13 year olds get their hands on weed? I know weed is anywhere and everywhere but there has to be some sort of hook up that they have, right? That’s amazing in itself because when I was 13 I could barely dress myself let alone find a reliable weed dealer. That comes later in life. And the thought that a group of thirteen year olds having a dealer is absolutely hilarious. And secondly, how are they gonna charge two of these kids with a felony? Don’t do that to them. So they mixed weed in the cookie dough in their home economics class. So what? Big deal. Live and learn. A better form of punishment would’ve been to have the kids actually bake the cookies and then force them to eat them all in one sitting, Super Troopers style. I guarantee if you got those kids SUPER DUPER high they would probably never mess around with weed again. All you need to give them is that type of high where they start to think about their parents eventual mortality, their siblings eventual mortality and their own eventual mortality and you’ve officially taught them a lesson. Nothing fucks with a young person’s head more than getting them stoned and them having the realization that everybody dies. Charging a couple 13 year olds with a felony is just dumb.
PS- Nick Swardson perfectly lays out my nightmare scenario with weed edibles right here. Just eating way too much and putting yourself on fucking Jupiter. I’ve never eaten weed edibles and this is partially why.