NEW: Bussin' With the Boys Dad Merch CollectionSHOP NOW

Advertisement

A SFW Scouting Report Jimmy G's Porn Star Date

Jimmy G fist

Kiara Mia

By now you’ve no doubt seen the Chicks in the Office reaction to Jimmy Garoppolo dating porn star adult film actress Kiara Mia. And while Ria and Fran’s objections to this union are well stated and they raise some good points, I think it’s not unreasonable to get a different perspective. One from a guy with slightly more experience in following Jimmy G’s career, his dating habits, and 41-year-old porn actresses with preposterous amounts of cosmetic surgery. Namely, me.

If a woman’s going to dating the highest paid player in NFL history for the period February 8, 2018-to-Aaron Rodgers next deal, she deserves to have a scouting report done on her. You can check her out yourself by clicking the extremely, extremely NSFW link here … I pause for 30 minutes or so because I know I just lost 75% of you … annnd, we’re back. Or you can stay right here and get one man who’s been emotionally invested in Jimmy G’s career since Day 1 scouting report on his new honey:

Kiara Mia, Porn actress. West Hollywood, CA. Latin. 41 years old. 5-foot-4. 130 lb. 34DD-26-36
Nominated for a 2015 AVN Award for MILF/Cougar of the year and the 2013 Sex Award for Porn’s Best Body. Has worked for Evil Angel, Diabolic Video, Wicked Pictures, Bang Bros, among others. A good effort performer with the solid frame to appeal to an audience that appreciates the curves. According to her IMDB page, she tried to break into mainstream roles for 14 years before joining porn in her mid-30s. Has appeared in film such as Big Titty MILFS 24, Latin Mommas 22?, and Mommy, Me, And A Gangster. As you’d imagine she’s a MILF porn specialist, but has the versatility and high motor to do anal, groups, lesbian and interracial. An experienced pro who with the talent who is not intimidated by size. Has made a successful career out of comparisons to various Kardashians.

The film:

Advertisement

You have to like the professionalism of the Airplane Bathroom video. It shows she’s not only fearless, but she’s willing to invest the time to give a little something to the fans. You can project the high likelihood of a Mile High Club scenario in Jimmy G’s future.

She’s got the scheme versatility to pull off Snap and Webcams:

And she’s able to move from Pool Boy fantasies …

To House Painter fantasies:

Advertisement

To everybody’s favorite, the Pizza Delivery Guy fantasy:

… a skillset you absolutely need if you’re going to be the bangbunny of a Pro Bowl caliber quarterback like Garappolo.

The CITO were right that she doesn’t compare to what Patriots and ex-Patriots are used to. Gisele, Olivia Culpo or Camille Kostek. And I’ll add Kyle Van Noy’s wife and remind everyone that Julian Edelman used to be with Adriana Lima. Hell, she’s not even Bibi Jones. But that’s alright. Not every date has to be with a classy, super attractive and elegant woman. Sometimes a guy just needs to have commitment-free sex with a big jugged skank. There’s no shame it that. So go get some, Jimmy G.