SOURCES: A "Handshake Agreement" Between The Phillies And Orioles Is In Place That Will Send Manny Machado To Philly Wednesday Morning

Advertisement

So many questions. Is it just a rental till the end of the year? Who/what are the Phillies giving up in return? Does this type of conjecture even exist? Why am I rock hard over a handshake between two presumed men? Give me answers, dammit. GIVE ME ANSWERS.

But in the end, IF this is true, we’ve got ourselves a handshake. Nothing more, nothing less. We’ll wait and see what happens and if anything breaks while the O’s are squeezing out their last bit of Manny juice on national TV this week. And don’t get me wrong, I love me some RDT. But if this is trade doesn’t come to fruition, he should field all the blame. Also, if i, I shall get all the glory.

Not my fault I heard Machado’s people were already scoping out Philly area prep schools for his future kids and Manny himself was bragging to people at an AC casino he was getting traded to the Phils. Smitty’s Sources are always on POINT. Does that point often reside in Alpha Centuri? Perhaps. Just remember, somewhere, in a dimension far, far away, Michael Vick is still waiting for his luggage at the Logan airport.

PS – Double fuck you, Dick Holder.