St. Patrick's Day Collection | T-Shirts, Hoodies, Crewnecks, Hats, FlagsSHOP NOW

The FAA Hates You - Tells A Judge They Refuse To Stop Shrinking Leg Room On Flights

Screen Shot 2018-07-11 at 11.49.28 AM

NY POST via MARKET WATCHFor years airlines have been shrinking legroom for passengers on aircraft and now the Federal Aviation Administration has declined to put a stop to it.

The FAA was ordered to address the “case of the incredible shrinking airline seat” by a judge in the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit in 2017. On Friday, the regulatory agency responded to that order by ruling that seat shrinkage does not, in fact, affect consumer safety, so the FAA won’t be setting limits on legroom or seat width.

“The FAA has no evidence showing that current seat dimensions hamper the speed of passenger evacuation, or that increased passenger size creates an evacuation issue,” an FAA spokesman told MarketWatch. “During an evacuation, passengers stand up in just a few seconds, which is less time than it takes for emergency exits to begin functioning and for the line that begins forming in the aisle to clear.”

The balls on the FAA!  Basically spitting in a judge’s face.  A JUDGE!  An appointed judge in a robe with a gavel and everything – flipped him a big old middle finger and said fuck you and fuck the American people.  What’s their big defense?  That evacuation is still fine with no leg room.  That you can get out of a plane just as quickly with your legs pressed against your chest as you can spread out and enjoying the comfort of air travel.  Newsflash you idiots.  Nobody gives a fuck if they die in a plane crash if their entire body is on fire from discomfort.  I would rather burn to death in the fuselage than have my dick all tangled up and cramped for a 6 hour flight.  I’m 6’2″ no big deal.  I got long legs.  I don’t want to evacuate.  Fuck my life.  I want to be comfortable.  Give me some Biscotti cookies and a fucking place to at least sit with proper posture.  It’s not asking a lot you dickheads.

Here’s what happens with no leg room:

1) Body discomfort.  Leading to aches and pains.  Possibly leaving customers to turn to ways to treat the pain, in the middle of an opioid epidemic no less.

2) Increased tension.  There’s a video every day now of somebody going crazy on a plane or beating somebody’s ass or getting dragged out by their feet for disrupting the flight.  Yeah no shit they’re going crazy.  They got no leg room.

“People have less room in the seats, the seats are less comfortable than they used to be, and they are reacting in a very predictable way: they’re freaking out,” he said. “Minimum seat size could stop these mid-air confrontations.”

Duh.

3) Contrary to what the FAA and their junk science says, the president of Flyers’ Rights says small seats “threaten the ability to evacuate a plane within 90 seconds, an FAA requirement.”   “The only likely recourse is for the traveling public is by overwhelming public outcry.”  I agree.  This is what Twitter mobs were invented for.  Personally I don’t care, but if you value your life and would like the opportunity to save yourself from an aviation disaster, I’d be tweeting til my fucking fingers fell off.

PS, shout out the legend.

Screen Shot 2018-07-11 at 11.49.53 AM