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If You Bid Real Life Money On eBay For This Six Year-Old McDonald's Meal You Should Not Be Allowed To Have Money

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Sometimes there’s nothing better than a Big Mac. But we like ours freshly cooked and served hot and we definitely don’t want to wait too long to eat it.

However one man has kept his McDonald’s order for six years – all in the name of science. Dave Alexander wanted to discover whether there was any truth to the rumours that the fast food chain’s products could last for years without showing any sign of decay. So on June 7 2012, the Ontario-based farmer asked his daughter to head down to their nearest McDonald’s branch and order a burger and fries.

But instead of chowing down on his food, he put it on a shelf and waited. After six years and some surprising results, Dave decided to put the meal up for sale on eBay, with a starting bid of $29.99. His post, which said “ORIGINAL OWNER – Never eaten”, is no longer live on the shopping website, but before it was taken down bidding is thought to have reached $82 – that’s almost £50!

Dave said on Twitter that the post was removed from eBay because no expiration date had been given for the “food item” – as if anyone would actually want to eat it.

I just ate my lunch. It was a very nice cheeseburger with fries from the “everything store” down the street. The moment I read this article I wanted to throw it all up. In fact, I’m still nauseous just from the idea of keeping a McDonald’s meal for SIX YEARS. I don’t think I’ve ever held onto anything for six years without losing it or breaking it or hurting its feelings so they leave me. The only thing I’ve been able to maintain for six years is have my mother not disband me from the family and keep a roof under my head.

In college you probably lived with a few of your buddies in a house and were messy as fuck. After a long night of going out and eating late night food you likely didn’t clean up your mess and went to bed. Maybe the next morning you went to class or played basketball. As a result your food from last night was still out on the table. But the very moment you got home, you rejoined society and cleaned that shit up. Could you imagine just not cleaning up a meal for SIX YEARS and saving it? I’d get disgusted after seeing something that is two days old never mind 2,190 days old. Here’s the image that will make you gag. This is what the cheeseburger looks like.

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I now want to die after encountering that image with my two eye balls. I feel like Feits when he falls on the floor and makes the throw up sound. So what did this guy do with his food? He wanted to see if the rumors were true if the food would not decay after sitting for years so he kept it. After six years he did the normal thing and threw it out PUT IT UP FOR SALE ON FUCKING eBAY!!!! What did some people on eBay do? THEY FUCKING BID REAL LIFE UNITED STATES DOLLARS ON IT!!!!

How much money you may ask? The seller posted the opening bidding price at $29.99. Bidders risked up to $82 dollars to try and win this meal. If you are one of these people who bid this money you shouldn’t be allowed to spend money on anything again. You should be put on Elon Musk’s Mission to Mars where you cannot come back, as our society’s test dummies. You should be among the first people to ride on the Elon Musk’s bullet train in case it crashes and burns. You should not be allowed to operate in modern day society if you think bidding $82 on a six year old McDonald’s meal is a proper decision in life. The fucking soccer coach from Thailand who decided it was a good idea to venture into that cave with the little boys makes better decisions than these people.

One last closing remark….the seller said that while the hamburger looked stale and old, the fries were in great condition.

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Throw this man in jail and make him eat this meal. Let’s see how it plays out for him.