Devin Booker Signs A Five Year, $158 Million Extension To Stay In Phoenix

Devin Booker is 21-years old. When I was 21 I was scraping up loose change under my car seat to buy McChickens. Devin Booker just signed a deal worth over $30 mil a year to continue to live in Phoenix, chuck jumpers, and have exactly zero people care if he wins or loses games. To the dullards out there who claim that money doesn’t buy happiness, just look at this picture of Booker signing his contract extension.

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You see that god damn smile? That’s a level of happiness I didn’t even know existed until I saw this picture. That’s the kind of happiness that only $158,000,000 and zero expectations at 21 years of age can buy. Just picture the kind of contract this guy’s gonna get when he turns 26 and is eligible for another extension. And then again at 31. Devin Booker’s going to be able to buy Jeff Bezos in a decade if he so pleases.