It Appears Spain's Sergio Ramos Also Took a Trip To My Horrible New Jersey Barber

I’m not sure why people continue to go to my incompetent New Jersey barber, but I keep seeing his horrible work all over the place. The first victim was yours truly last October. It was a disaster of epic proportions. I’m still convinced he had never cut hair before, but I sat in that electric chair as he carved into my skull and ruined my confidence for the foreseeable future. I even tipped the guy because I’m such a sucker.

Next up was Joe Buck during the NFL Playoffs.

Then Kevin Love in the NBA Finals. Actually very bad.

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And then finally Kim Jong Un.

Listen, I’m poor so it’s totally understandable for me to run into a bad haircut here and there, but these guys are all filthy rich. They should have the best of the best of the best touching their locks. Any little mishap and they should be put to death, especially with a guy who usually walks around dripping sex like Sergio.

There should never be a situation where you look like Sergio Ramos in the World Cup where it appears his barber just gave up mid-way through and had to go do something else. That barber needs to be shot, no question about it.

P.S. It still doesn’t get talked about enough in this office that Jeff Lowe from Lights Camera Barstool gets a $75 haircut once a week. I mean that is maybe the craziest thing within this whole company.