PUTY’S WORLD CUP REVIEW & PREVIEW – Round of 16 (Day 2 of 4)

Sam's Army7/01/2018 1:27 PM

Sam’s Safe Space for Soccer Stoolies

Hi haters™,

One day of knockout games matches, eight to go (or nine of you include the third place game). Yesterday did NOT disappoint and, while on paper today may look a little tamer, it has the potential to be just as exciting – which we’ll get to in just a minute. Let’s start out though with an extremely brief run-through of what went down on Saturday in case there are any under-rock-dwellers in our midst…

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REVIEW – June 30

Scores from yesterday:

The haters took a lot of pot-shots during the group stage when I made some spicy predictions about which teams were contenders and dark horses, and which teams were dead. Usually I’m not one to gloat, but enough people responded to this tweet (and IG post) by tagging @barstoolsports and saying I should be fired that you must please forgive me as a publicly dance on some graves for a minute:

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, yes, now I feel much better. If I have learned one thing on these here internet streets it is that “success” is fleeting at best, so you gotta live it up while you can. Thus, I had to get that out now before all my other predictions go to shit. Thank you for bearing with me. Now as for the games, the glooooorious games…

FRANCE (4) – (3) ARGENTINA

RUNDOWN: Man oh man, this game had everything. Superstars, drama, goals galore with some strikes to write home to mama about mixed in, even a last second chance to tie things up and send the game into “overtime”. France looked the better team throughout but credit to Argentina – pilloried in the press for months and led by a captain in Messi with the expectations of a nation on his shoulders – for stepping up after going down a goal and making this a real game. An incredible BOMB from Angel Di Maria followed by a lucky deflection even put the South Americans in the lead early in the second half, though they still never really felt in control and in the end it was Kylian Mbappe’s – with two goals plus a drawn penalty – world that they were just living in.

As if that weren’t enough we witnessed a new candidate (and likely interim winner) for goal of the tournament from French defender Benjamin Pavard

who, when not visiting local parks and consorting with fellow Standard Poodles, plays for Stuttgart in the Bundesliga and is apparently capable of things like this:

URUGUAY (2) – (1) PORTUGAL

RUNDOWN: I was deathly afraid of two things coming into this game. First that the game was going to be watched by millions of Americans but turn out to be a horrifically ugly and provide ammunition for the haters, and second that Portugal – after I declared them dead – would beat the team I picked as a dark horse to win the tournament, thus allowing the haters to dance on my grave Real-Madrid-in-the-Champions-League style. Thankfully neither came to fruition as Uruguay overcame a goal by… *double checks*… Pepe(?!?) with two absolute beauties by Edinson Cavani.

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PREVIEW – July 1

So now we are on to day two of the R16 and considering we just witnessed games involving four brand name teams featuring two of the best players to ever lace em up, yeah, today has some work to do to live up to its predecessor – on paper anyway.

Spain (-190)
Russia (+500)
Draw (+300)

Potentially one of the least evenly weighted matchups in the R16. Spain is a perennial powerhouse (other than the boo-boo at WC14) while the Russkis have been sort of mediocre in the best of times but bunk af for the last couple of years. But that was then and this is Puty’s World Cup, where anything is possible. I gave away this and pretty much all my other picks on the most recent podcast (links at bottom!) but long story short I am a little nervous for Spain and it boils down to two reasons: (1) they are clearly more skilled but after looking like world-beaters against Portugal – settling for a draw only because of a once-in-a-generation error by DDG and Ronny’s brilliance – the team struggled mightily against far less talented teams that hustled their balls off in Iran and Morocco. Russia is like those two latter opponents on steroids – maybe metaphorically, maybe quite literally. So that is one thing going against Spain. The second element is your friend and my podcast benefactor: President Puty. If you don’t think that old coot will pull some levers, twist some arms, grease some wheels or kidnap a person or two in order to ensure that Russia get the benefit of all VAR “calls” (reviews and non-reviews) PLUS at least one penalty… then you just don’t know Puty. So I’m going out on a limb and saying Russia makes it incredibly difficult on Spain, perhaps even holding them to a lucrative 1-1 draw in regulation… before the Spanish prevail in extra time (or perhaps penalties).

Croatia (-135)
Denmark (+420)
Draw (+220)

Croatia has emerged as a legitimate dark horse in this tournament, in no small measure thanks to their good fortunate of being drawn on the side of the bracket away from France, Brazil, Uruguay, Mexico and Belgium. (If only Roberto Martinez had the balls to stick to his game plan and throw the England game – tut tut.) Denmark have proven to be greater than the sum of their parts through coordinated defense and a big help from Christian Eriksen, the world’s sexy little soccer nymph this side of Luka Modric, and will likely make things difficult on Croatia. However, it is hard to pick against the latter given how strong their midfield has looked and, thus far anyway, how mistake-free their defense has been. I’m not quite as high on the Croats as some people but I am going with them here: Croatia to win 2-0.