Lady Rescued on a Float in the Middle of the Ocean After 21 Hours at Sea

Source – Russian medic Olga Kuldo, 55, was saved after a border patrol plane checking for illegal immigrants spotted her SEVEN MILES offshore.

She floated through one night and was reportedly fried alive by the hot sun the following day. She needed hospital treatment for exposure and resulting heart problems. …

A Hellenic Coast Guard vessel was dispatched and rescued the 55 year old. … [Kuldo], from Zelenograd, near Moscow, had been staying with her husband Oleg, 59, and daughter Yulia, 28, at the resort of Rethymno on the north of the Greek island.

They alerted rescuers after she failed to return to her hotel room after a late afternoon swim.

Obviously I’m glad first and foremost that Olga Kuldo was rescued in what has to be the greatest billion-to-one stroke of maritime luck since that oil tanker found Tom Hanks. You know that feeling when you’re drunk on vacation and take a nap and when you wake up for a few seconds there you don’t know where you are? Try to imagine the stark raving terror of getting your bearings and there’s no land anywhere on the horizon. That’s a situation where your best option might just be to swim for the bottom, blowing bubbles as you go, to get it over quickly. So good for her she nutted up, stuck it out and only had to contemplate her almost certain death for 21 hours or so.

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But I’m also glad this happened today of all days. Heading into the one weekend in the year that involves the most drunkenness, water, relaxing, and floating on inflatables of the whole year. Let this be a cautionary tale of what can happen. A million things. All of them bad. Some even worse than waking up adrift in the open ocean. After all, let us not forget what today is:

So let this be a PSA about the dangers of people from northern climates known for their booze consumption (me) in warm, sunny places trying to squeeze a year’s worth of summer fun into a few weeks. By way of full disclosure, I’m going to Italy for the first time for my and the Irish Rose’s 25th. And any dreams I had about floating in the Mediterranean are scratched now that I know that in Europe, the people on the beach watch your sleeping ass float out to sea and not lift a finger to stop you.

Happy 4th, everyone. Be safe. And RIP, Little Kintner Boy.