Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

Ontario – A St. Catharines teacher has been charged following allegations she sent sexually inappropriate material to a group of sixteen & seventeen year old students.

Forty-one-year-old Stephanie Colangelo has also been suspended from Denis Morris High School.

Rumours had been circulating about this teacher for a few days now, in fact students had been sharing explicit videos amongst themselves.

Many of them said if they didn’t see the videos for themselves, they would not have believed it.

Stephanie Colangelo was known as a religion teacher who was well-liked by her students.

That reputation became tarnished after rumours began swirling around the teacher.

Students say she taught grades 9 through 12 both religion and business studies. …

Police charged Colangelo with with making sexually explicit material available to minors, luring a child to commit sexual exploitation and luring a child to make child pornography.

This might seem off topic a little bit, but trust me I’m tying this in to Miss Colangelo’s story. I was thinking about something I learned in, coincidentally enough, business studies this morning when they had CNBC on in the locker room at the gym. They were talking about OPEC doing something or other to the price of whatever. And I remembered what my professor had said about the Cartel Theory of Oligopoly. How by their nature, cartels are doomed to fail. Sure, they can artificially set a price on whatever it is they control – petroleum, investments, diamonds, drugs – and everyone benefits. But sooner or later, someone is going to break the agreement. They’ll undercut the set prices and because it’s more profitable for them. The point being that ultimately everyone in an economy acts in their own self interest.

And the same holds true for groups of horny teenagers who get sent a sex video by, again coincidentally, their 41-year-old business studies teacher. They may agree to keep the video to themselves. But eventually one of more of the group is going to decide it’s more beneficial to squeal about it. They’ll act in their own self interest by deciding it’s not enough to just keep the video on their phone and spank to it or have a good laugh at their teacher’s expense. They’ll want to be heroes by showing it around. And eventually, it’ll get in the hands of the police who’ll make an arrest and then everyone will need to form another Sex Scandal Teacher cartel. In that respect at least, Stephanie Colangelo proved herself to be an excellent business teacher. I hope the lesson was not lost on the Thorold Boys who went to St. Catharines and sent this to me.

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The Grades:
Looks: Stephanie is one of those people who probably didn’t get cosmetic surgery but kind of looks like she got cosmetic surgery. With that big chin/pouty lips look of say, Garry Shandling (RIP) when he was in the Iron Man movies. Or (forgive me) Eric Stoltz in Mask. But still, there’s not denying that is a pretty attractive 41-year-old. Granted, we’d really need to see the video in question to really grade her fairly. But since that’s not likely to happen, I’ll give her a solid
Grade: B-

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Imagine for one second the thought process of sending your sex tape to a group of your students. Not one. Not a couple. A group. By any definition, three or more. And expecting that they’ll keep it amongst themselves and you’ll still have a job to go back to in the fall. When I was in school none of us could be trusted to keep our mouths shut about Darth Vader’s reveal at the end of Empire , much less our teacher sending us homemade porn. I’ll deduct points for those “exploitation” and “child pornography” charges, because they sound so ubercreepy. But since her Bad Judgment is so off the charts, she’s still
Grade: B+

Intangibles: St. Catharine is the patron saint of educators, schoolchildren and maidens. Two out of three ain’t bad.
Grade: A

Overall: B

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.