I'd Rather Get Hit By a Train Than Go To My Ex's Wedding

So this tweet has been getting some recent “viral fire” as the kids call it these days. A seemingly very nice girl is getting married to some dude and she invited her ex. Oh yeah, because that’s totally normal. The ex RSVP’d “yes” to the wedding and will be in attendance. I don’t know how in any guy’s right mind you can attend an ex’s wedding with any sort of good intentions. Now in order for this to be a true ex I’m talking you had to have dated at least in college or later, for at minimum a year. None of that few month bullshit, or high school stuff because that’s child shit.

If you dated a girl for a few years as an adult, and go to her wedding, you’re a crazy person. I don’t care how civil and mutual the break-up may have been, you can’t be happy for her and be content with your life in that situation. You can say you’re fine with it all you want, but there’s no way you actually feel that way. The moment I get that invite in the mail I’m going to light it on fire. We all have ex’s still on Instagram and see when they post stories or actual grams with their new boyfriends. It’s one of the few things in life that can flip a great mood and night into straight up morbid depression. Especially when the new guy resembles Sven from Switzerland.

I don’t think getting hit by a car is enough pain. I’d rather get hit by a train than go to a ceremony honoring my ex’s love and happiness with someone that isn’t me. Why put yourself through that pain? Is this just the new age where everyone gets past their difference and grows up? If so, I’m all set. Everyone has grudges with their exes.

The only, and I mean the only, way I’m going to my ex’s wedding is if I found myself an absolute smokeshow and I’m now the happiest guy on Earth. Even then though, try telling your new girlfriend that we’re going to the woman who used to fuck you all the time’s wedding? I’m going to go out on a limb and say she’s not going to be down.