Oh Look, The Most Expensive Joint Ever Rolled Came In At $24,000 And Is A Colossal Waste Of Weed

HuffPo- Got money to burn? Well, you could always spend it on a joint worth $24,000.

That’s the estimated worth of a 3-foot-long joint that was auctioned off Thursday night for charity by Stone Road Farms, a Los Angeles-based cannabis company.

The mega-sized marijuana cigarette contains more than a pound of weed, as well as 6 ounces of concentrate and 2 ounces of bubble hash, according to Stone Road founder Lex Corwin, who commissioned the joint.

Did we mention that it’s wrapped in rolling papers made of 24-karat gold leaf worth $5,000 alone?

The giant joint is shaped like an elephant tusk, a nod to the charity it was auctioned off for: the African Wildlife Foundation.

“They’re training German shepherds to chase after poachers, and that’s definitely something we want to be a part of,” Corwin said.

Mannnn weed is so dope. You ever get so high that you buy a flight to Africa, infiltrate a poaching ring, trade your passport for an RPG, blow a hole in the side of an elephant, and sell its tusks on the black market to recoup your expenses? NO? Well, this is the joint for you! You can do all that and more with just a few puffs off this wasteful marijuana gimmick, which will send you into an elephant-murdering rage!

Seriously though– do you think the Native Americans wasted weed like this? No way, hombre. They used every single part of the joint AND the elephant. Stems, seeds, tusks, skin, ears, foreskin… it was all rolled up together in blankets and traded at market for canoe paddles and blackjack tables. Read your history.

I don’t even understand how you smoke this thing. Bubble hash and concentrate? Don’t you need different devices and temperatures for that shit? Zah told me I should switch over to dabs but I prefer having some memories from my youth. Not sure what ex-girlfriend made him go full Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind but clearly, he’s running from something.

PS- the foreskin of adult male elephants was the material of choice for Olympic trampoline events until 1967. It was replaced with propylene mesh when the last living elephant Mohel died.