Where's Waldo?

I posted a picture on twitter on Sunday.  Was a picture of a giant tomohawk steak I cooked on the grill.  I will never have any pictures of triathlon finishes or Crossfit milestones, so I post pics of food.

I almost posted a pic of the biscuits I made that morning because I brushed the dough with butter and then sprinkled each muffin with coarse sea salt before I popped them in the oven. It came out like the piping hot bastard child of a biscuit and a salt bagel, and was an absolute fucking nightmare for anyone with celiac disease and/or high blood pressure.

Anyhoo, here’s the shot of the tomahawk…


Kinda of impressive.  Three pounds of meat that I cooked to a perfect med rare… Maybe a tad closer to medium… Just how I like it.  I had to wrap the rib bone with tin foil after the initial sear, so it didn’t burn up while the meat came up to temp.

I expected no comments.  I don’t have many Twitter followers compared to the bulk of guys/gals here who have been tweeting for a decade.  However, the few comments I did get were a bit of a surprise.  Nobody commented on the meat. They all commented on my painted big toenail.  Which apparently jumps out at you in the lower right corner.

Is it me, or is that just fucking creepy?  Not the toe… My little daughter and I went to the salon, and I had a nail painted the same color as hers because it makes her smile.  That’s not creepy.  That’s fucking adorable… Especially on father’s Day.


I mean, isn’t it creepy how Twitter users turn into forensic photographers?  Or maybe I am misreading this, and should be honored that my toe is getting attention.  It’s actually the toe that flares up whenever I get a gout attack, so it is in desperate need of some good press, I suppose.

Either way, lesson learned, and I will fine tooth comb anything I post in the future, because there is bound to be some footage of me out there frying bacon with my fly open.

And for anyone who is really interested in the Where’s Waldo? aspect of my tweets, see if you can catch a glimpse of the “lightswitch covered with gray hair” in the reflection of one of the bubbles.


Happy hunting, weirdo.

I look like a dildo with arms.

Take a report.