large's untitled big dick blog

Large6/15/2018 12:02 PM

Morning.

I don’t have a ton to report, but I did take my first dump in the office yesterday. Did the early radio show, so got here around 6:10 and there wasn’t a soul in the place. Baby steps, but starting to feel more comfortable.

Outside of the Homestretch that I will post later on, this is probably the final blog before Father’s Day. So far this week we covered all the traditional Father’s Day topics including Woody Allen marrying his daughter and a dad with gay twins that fuck each other on screen for money. Today, I will tone it down, and maybe give you a 1,000 word brunch topic for when you visit Pop this weekend.

You ever wonder what it would be like to have a tremendous dick? To be in a situation where everyone calls you “Large”, but not because you look like you have a glandular condition?

Well. I do, so I am going to chat about it.

I wrote a blurb last week, wishing Liam Neeson a Happy Birthday, and I quoted Janice Dickinson (who apparently banged him) when she said, “He unzipped his pants and it looked like an Evian bottle fell out. It was insane!” And I think that explains a lot. You look at Liam Neeson and (outside of that half-hour when he was a overly-vocal supporter of carriage horse rights) you think, “There’s a confident guy.” You think a good chunk of that confidence stems from the fact that he has a good chunk?

Milton Berle was another. Kids don’t know him because he died in 2002. But he was an enormously popular comedian on television before TV’s had color… Or before TV’s had coloreds, for that matter. At some point in his life, some guy ran up to him in a bar and challenged Milton to beat the 12 inch cock that this complete stranger was packing. An odd request, but Milton accepted the challenge, and won. Not exactly sure who was officiating, but afterwards a person in Berle’s party asked him just how long his cock was? To which Milton replied, “I am not sure, but I only had to show that guy the first 13 inches.”

Pete Rose did a USO tour in Vietnam with Joe DiMaggio. They were there entertaining troops around Saigon for 23 days, which is extraordinary in itself. What’s even more extraordinary is that eventually the 2 had to share a makeshift jungle shower together, and Rose described naked DiMaggio by saying, “I turned around and all I could see was this giant penis with Joe DiMaggio hanging off the end of it.” And that’s Charlie Hustle talking. He’s spent an 1/8th of his life in showers with athletes and their naked cocks, but Joe’s took the cake, so to speak.

By the way, Marilyn Monroe fucked both Milton Berle and Joe DiMaggio. Maybe that should be in the eventual “Candle in The Wind” remix… Goodbye Norma Jean’s vagina.

I am not leaving the shower for the next example, but in this one I will not use this lucky bastard’s name because the guy is still actively involved in the NFL. Buddy of mine was a linebacker for a D1 school down South, and when the linebackers showered together, one gentleman in particular swung out.

This sonofabitch would exit a hot shower and be able to rock his hips back and forth, creating a pendulum-like motion for his huge cock that would sway up towards his belly then back towards his ass. Which is probably impressive enough, but this gem was able to use the momentum on the final down sway to have his limp-but-long cock pop up, and then in between, his own ass cheeks, where he would clench up and catch it. His buns were literally the buns that caught his fleshy hot-dog.

I cant get my mind around it. Imagine the poor broad that had to get her lips around it?

Is it gay I am taking about this still? If so, than I am very gay, because I am not finished, and I am staying with football.

Steve McNair is dead. RIP… Really Immense Penis.

McNair’s titan teammates used to call him Cinnabon. He was unable to fit into even the largest athletic supporter, so he had to coil his penis around like a Cinnabon in order to cram it into his cup. I have had to coil my toes under my feet in order to squeeze into a size 13 ski boot, so I can kinda relate.

Steve was tragically shot and killed by a former girlfriend who then killed herself, and people questioned her motive. Is it too soon to float out the theory she was seeking revenge for the damage he inflicted on her undercarriage?… It’s been 9 years. What’s the moratorium on that type of shit?

Quick old joke: Young whale asks hid dad, “Poppa Whale, where did I come from?”

The dad answers, “From my penis.”

So the whale child says, “Thanks, Dad.”

And the father whale replies, “You’re whale cum, son.”

Back to my own penis. I have described it in earlier blogs as “a light switch in the distance covered in gray hair”, but that’s not a fair assessment. I’m a bigger guy, so I fall victim to the “small bird/big nest” dilemma. If you were to airdrop my member onto a smaller version of me… Say, Danny DeVito… It would seem immense. Pete Rose might even say, “All I could see was Large’s penis with Danny DeVito hanging off the end.”