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Who In Their Right Mind Is Stupid And/Or Insane Enough To Leave The Engine Running While Pumping Gas?

So our Flyers/Blackout/utility man @DeloBarstool gave me a ride back to Philly after the Pastrana 500 and we swung into the Molly Pitcher reststop to grab a bite and some gas. Pull up and as the parolee comes to pump our gas (NJ is one of those states where it’s illegal to toot your own fuel), Delo doesn’t turn the car off. Thinking he forgot to do so, I kindly remind him to turn off the engine. He scoffs at me, says “Yeah, sure.” while leaving the car running. I then insist with a quiver in my voice in fear the vehicle may explode at any second to turn the car off and he responds with, verbatim, “What are you a pussy? Always leave the car running while getting gas. Not doing so is insane.”

What?!?! Isn’t it scientifically proven it’s not only bad for the car but there’s a chance a static charge may send the vehicle the way of Michael Corleone’s perfect Italian tatties from The Godfather? I excuse KFC’s stupidity in the situation as in his Manhattan bubble he probably only drives once every 3 years, and even then it’s definitely the roommate behind the wheel, but for anyone living in Real America who has to drive on a regular basis this is a travesty. In the end, I guess I’m just lucky Delo isn’t a woman or else he might have got out of the car on his cellphone and fired up a cig. Whole gas station would’ve went up in flames.

No wonder Barstool HQ is described with such incompetence sometimes. This is now exactly what I imagine happens when the HQ guys are sent out to get lunch and need to fill up: