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Opening All The Presents On Christmas Eve Is Savagery In It's Primal Form


(Reblog from last year, but the point remains the same and needs to be said.)

I didn’t know people actually did this. Thought it was sort of like an Urban Legend like she can’t get pregnant when she’s on top or OBJ is heterosexual. America has had its ups and downs recently but I thought we were overall doing OK until my buddy casually dropped she can’t wait to open all of her presents tonight like it was nothing. Barbaric. A nice, normal household by all accounts instantly became zoo status with one text. No rules, order or respect whatsoever. I realize it’s 2015 and the levels of instant gratification are at an all-time high, but come on people. We’re living in a society here. If you can’t wait 12 hours to open all your gifts it wouldn’t surprise me if Yankee Swap is played with infants while a new leader of the house comes to power by beheading a grandparent. Go back to the Barbarian Hoard you Heathens.

The correct play: Everyone picks out 1 present on Christmas Eve and opens it one at a time embracing each others company while pretending you’re not disappointing with what you got. Free-for-all in the morning. That’s the way to do it and keep the peace. As Sir Charles used to say, anything less would be uncivilized.

But alas, we let the people decide:

Vote 1 for Open On Xmas Eve And Then Return To The Cages Before Feeding Time and 10 for Christmas Day All Day Everyday:

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (645 votes, average: 8.61 out of 10)