James Franco The Crayfish Escapes Boiling Pot By Ripping Own Claw Off

I have a few issues with the way the #FakeNewsMedia went about presenting this video to the American people. The crayfish is undoubtedly badass; that maneuver takes a ton of balls and I have nothing but respect for him, but he absolutely did not chop off or amputate his own arm. Watch from a different angle here. That’s a rip. He pulled that boiled claw off like it was a shooting sleeve or one of those fake tattoo sleeves people win at carnivals. Honestly it was shocking how easily it came off too. I don’t know much about crayfish biology but he might wanna get that checked out.

Next, who the heck is this customer who took the crayfish home and kept it as a pet? Thats the way this fairytale ends. What an absolute psychopath move. Not only that, they even put his mangled claw in the tank with him! I suppose the argument you could make in support of the move is it’s similar to when Happy Gilmore gave Chubbs the head of the alligator that bit his hand off, which was ultimately meant as a kind gesture. Howevah, the counter argument to that is even stronger; Chubbs promptly fell out of a window and died upon being forced to relive the trauma of that fateful day. So who’s the real asshole here?

I think the most important thing to be said about this video is why in the name of the lord was someone even filming at all when this happened? Is this Chinese restaurant some sort of front for an underground crustacean torture cult? I want to see what was going on at this place before this video happened. How many other crayfish do they have and what are they doing to them? I’m not gonna sit here on my high horse and act like I’ve never put 2 lobsters on the floor of my kitchen and forced them to run Oklahoma Drills until a champion is decided. It’s human nature. But I’ve never filmed it, you can bet the house on that. These sick fucks need to be put in jail.