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My Intern Missed Day 1 Due To A Scheduling Conflict But He Brought Me A Bottle Of Honey From His Family's Honey Farm As An Apology

First of all I didn’t ask for an intern.  I’ve got Hubbs helping me out then other than that I like doing everything myself.  But Chaps recommended this dude and Dave said to bring him in, so my hands were tied.  His name is Taylor but you probably know him as The Hound.  I asked him to do weekend blogs for us while the blog was dead and somehow he weasled his way into a seat at the intern desk.   That’s our hiring process.  There’s nothing he’s really qualified to do so I have him making me notecards for the 200 words for the Spelling Bee today at 4.

Anyway the reason today was his first day is because he missed the actual first day for interns.  Scheduling conflict.

Hey it happens.  Sometimes you get your wires crossed, sometimes your secretary double books you, people have responsibilities and obligations that they can’t get out of, not even for the first day of the biggest opportunity of your life, for a company that exists and thrives on calling out employees who don’t show up for their first day of work.

But today he came in bright and early ready to work.  Came straight over to my desk with a bag, bearing gifts.  An apology.  A chance for a new first impression.  A beautiful jar of Fox Meadow Honey and a glass bottle of Miss Linda’s Honey Schnapps from his family’s honey farm.  Thoughtful!

Even gift wrapped them.  They look beautiful on my desk.  Great gesture.  Then after we shook hands he started walking away and casually dropped “yeah I actually brought those for Chaps, but he big-timed me when he was in the city, so they’ve just been sitting around since February.”

Classic The Hound.

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I know I said I didn’t want an intern but I think I respect this kid so much that I’ve completely changed my mind.  I don’t just want him as an intern, I want him as my colleague.  Fuck it, I want him as my boss.  I want him to be Assistant to the Chief of Content himself.  I want him determining my bonuses and raises and vacation time.  At a company where the office manager ends up like #2 in command for programming it’s really not that far out of the realm of possibility.  We preach the Barstool Difference, well this is what makes us different from any other company.  Our interns skip work on day 1 then re-gift you a 4 month old bottle of honey schnapps then end up making more money than you.

The Hound: Power Moves Only.