Top 8 reasons to see Pup Punk LIVE!!! (tix on sale 2mrrw at noon)
Editor’s Note: Pup Punk does not represent the views of Barstool Sports. Realistically, we have no issue with them posting on the site, but the band members insisted this note be added to the top of their blogs as a way to get our audience to see them as “bad ass”. Whatever.
tix for Pup Punk’s very first show at irving plaza in New York City on july 12fth go on sale tomorrow at 12pm and as a band we wanted to just let you know why you should cum…;) (get it?) so here are the top 8 reasons you should come to Pup Punk’s first (and last) show of our north American tour.
1. u might just get an OTPHJ (Over The Pants Hand Job)
OTPHJ’s are a staple of pop punk shows and we’re guessin our show will be no different. Their great too, you get the benefit of cumming without the anxiety of someone seeing ur dick. if you are having any trouble finding a chick 2 take to the show just open up a text conversation with your crush with “Heyyy” (MAKE SURE THERE ARE 3 Y’s, NOT TOO LITTLE, NOT TOO MUCH) nd then youre good. she will cum…;) (get it?)
2. no parents allowed!!!
technically we can’t enforce this rule (trust us we’ve looked into it) but we r making it known that we do NOT want you to come if you have kids. we hate parents and they have no place at a punk rock show, this is our only safe place from them.
3. Pup Punk is a very cool alternative to video games
while Fortnite is sweet and pubg is also sweet, the only thing sweeter than a first person shooter game is to be there in person (first person) for a genre of music that is the official soundtrack of school schoolers everywhere.
4. You’ll be in attendance for the first and last night of our tour
This is nice because you will get to welcome us and also bid us farewell and put up with all first-night-of-tour technical difficulties and jitters but also get to see the camaraderie we’ll have on the final show of our tour.
5. u can be gay and also call people gay with no consequences.
It’s cool, we don’t care. Some things are just gay and you have to call them out on that.
6. We’ll be throwing vape cartridges into the crowd
did your mom recently take your vape pen? R u tired of getting carded at your local vape shop? Do you only have $20 dollar$ to spend and have to choose between vape cartridges and seeing this show? Have no fear!! Vape cartridges will rain from the sky like tears in the shower.
7. Mosh pits/Crowd surfing/Wall of Death
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8. free coffee
OK not sure if this one is true but pretty sure theres always free coffee at these types of things. & by free coffee we mean for us (the band) not you ticket buyers. why would we give u free coffee at our own show? our last show of tour no less?
don’t forget july 12!!!
Sent from my iPhone