CNN- The father of a young child dramatically rescued from a Paris balcony Saturday was out playing Pokemon Go when the incident happened. In an interview with CNN affiliate BFM TV Monday, French prosecutor Francois Molins said the four-year-old’s father had gone out shopping, leaving the child at home alone. His return to the apartment was delayed when he decided to start playing the smartphone game on the way back.
According to Molins, the toddler was being looked after by his father in Paris while his mother was living on Reunion Island, a French-administered territory in the Indian Ocean. Video of the rescue went viral over the weekend, after young Malian migrant Mamoudou Gassama climbed four floors on the outside of an apartment building to save the dangling child. He has now been offered French citizenship and a job with the Paris fire brigade.
According to Molins, the father, who faces up to two years in prison for abandoning his parental responsibilities, is devastated by the consequences of his actions. He will be sentenced in September, according to Bruno Badre, a spokesman for the Paris prosecutor.
Badre told CNN Tuesday that the boy had been placed in temporary care while the father was in custody, but the two have now been reunited.
What an awful job by this dad. I mean I guess we can criticize his parenting method of leaving his 4-year-old home alone and not realizing that any kid on the planet can figure out a way to get outside because that’s what kids do. That’s a gimme. The saying “Life finds a way” is just as relevant to kids finding the one centimeter of the entire house that isn’t kidproofed as it is about dinosaur’s figuring out a way to reproduce with their DNA being tweaked to high hell by some genetic theme park.
But I’m talking about this dad’s gaming selection. Who the fuck plays Pokemon Go in 2018? That game was hot as a pistol for like 2 weeks back in 2016, became a blogger’s bonanza thanks to hilarious stories of people falling off of cliffs and driving into lakes in an attempt to wrangle a Charmander, and then vanished off the face of the Earth once everyone recognized the game was trash and those scary clowns started taking over our news feeds. Was Angry Birds servers down or something? Was this dad waiting for it to be his turn again in all his Words With Friends game? Nope, it turns out there are still people trying to Catch’em All and won’t let that whole “parental responsibilities” thing get in the way.
I thought people in Paris were trendsetters, not 2 full years behind the times. If this dad says he got lost in a game of Fortnite on his phone, no jury on the planet could convict him. I stink at Fortnite and don’t even know if I actually enjoy playing it, but I can’t stop playing it. Yeah I know that makes no sense but it also makes perfect sense if you have played Fortnite. There is just something soothing about escaping our shitty reality by virtually being placed on an island where you have to fight 99 other people in order to survive. That’s the reason Barstool Gametime Twitter and Instagram accounts have so many videos of kids playing Fortnite while their house is on fire or their girlfriend is screaming at them from point blank range while Epic makes a kabillion dollars a day selling skins and fancy umbrellas that don’t actually do anything in the game. Any dad worth their salt thinks of a good excuse before they do anything with their kids that they know is dumb. But admitting that you left your kid alone because you were playing a 2 year old video game is pretty much as bad as it gets. Fortunately for this guy, his son has the upperbody strength of The Mountain and there just happened to be a real life superhero walking by once shit hit the fan. Unfortunately for this guy, he somehow got caught neglecting his kid to play a game that nobody gives a shit about anymore, which will likely result in his Pokeball money becoming child support money.