I Completed My First Week As A Full-Time Employee. Here's How We Got Here

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So I originally wanted to write this blog last Monday since it was my official first day full-time, but I didn’t have time to because of going to Shinnecock. Thought it would be weird to write in the middle of the week so figured I’d just wait until the end of it. Just a recap of how we got here. Know some people may say “who cares?” but I know Stoolies appreciate background stories a lot, so just wanted to give a rundown of how I went from interviewing for an intern position to being full-time because it’s been an eventful ride.

August 30, 2016

So Erika sent that tweet out just before the New York move. Shoutout to my college roommate John, who also got me into Barstool, for DMing it to me and saying “No doubt you’d get that internship.” I was less confident, but thankfully, he was right.

I wrote Erika (Brett) a long email explaining all the sports media stuff I did through WFUV at Fordham. I also mentioned how I wrote a Survivor: Barstool fan-fiction on the Barstool Reddit page. I was just hoping to stand out.

September 16th, 2016

Erika responded and said they wanted to bring me in for an interview on Friday, September 16th. Biggest thing I was worried about is what to wear. I didn’t want to wear a suit and look like a square since I figured most applicants wouldn’t since it’s Barstool, but I also didn’t want to look like a slob. I settled on a polo and khakis. I always look like a squid in polos (as we saw at Shinnecock Monday) so I do regret this decision. Anyway, based on the email, it seemed like I was interviewing with Erika, so I prepared for an interview with her. Wasn’t expecting Dave to be there.

It took me FOREVER to find the office that morning. I was walking right past it for like 15 minutes. Finally, I got in. Was so nervous taking that elevator ride up. First person I remember seeing when the doors opened was Spags (RIP). I walked over to the bar area and Brett handed me a bunch of papers to fill out, and then Gaz came over and said I was up next for the interview. He walked me into what’s now the radio room and to my surprise, I see Dave and cameras set up. I was startled. I got nervous pretty fast.

Honestly, I don’t remember a ton from the interview. I do remember freezing up when Dave asked what the best sound byte I ever got from a player was. I remember Dave asking me if I was cool with doing “grunt work” and me not knowing what meant. He said “Like bitch work. Getting coffees and shit.” Of course, I said yes. He also asked if he threw me behind the glass, would I know how to work the radio equipment? I said yes, but was hesitant simply because I didn’t know what the equipment looked like. He said “That doesn’t sound confident.”

My one saving grace was the Survivor: Barstool stuff. Dave said something about how it’s encouraging a college kid wrote it and not some random old dude with too much time on their hands.

I walked out of the interview feeling not super confident but thought I had a shot. I was just in such a nervous fog when I walked out of the building that I ended up wandering through Koreatown for like 20 minutes.

Here’s the video of the intern interviews. Also includes Frankie, Tex, and Glenny. Mine is around 2:10 in.

Monday September 19th, 2016

Got an email from Gaz that morning saying I was hired.

“Hey Tom,
Dave and I decided we want to bring you on board to help out with our social media efforts/other miscellaneous tasks we need man power for. Would it be possible for you to come in someday this week so we can get all the paperwork set up and go over your exact role?”

Best email I’ve ever gotten and I was pumped up. Now here’s a fun fact that I’m not sure I told anyone here. That night on the Rundown, Dave said “I hired my intern today. Frankie Borrelli the pizzamaker. He’s my guy. Nobody can touch him”

For some reason, I thought this was about me. “Borrelli and Scibelli sound close enough. Frankie isn’t my name but he’s bad with names. Not sure what the pizzamaker thing is about but maybe just because I’m Italian?” I checked who Dave was following on Twitter and didn’t see Frankie’s name. He followed me during my interview to I assumed he would have followed anyone else he hired. Also I got hired that day too. So I just assumed it was about me.

I was wrong, and realized that soon obviously. But there was a two-day period in my life where I basically thought I was Frankie Borrelli. Weird stuff. Now we’re both Team Portnoy anyway.

Wednesday September 21st, 2016

My first day in the office. Gaz gave me my roles. I was going to post smokeshows on Instagram and run “barstoollifestyle” on Instagram, which was pictures of people repping Barstool merch. Then do anything else they needed when asked. Simple enough I figured. There are definitely worse internships to have. I sat in the middle of the content area that day because there was a free desk. There was nothing else for me to do that day really and Gaz had to go early so he told me to leave by like 2. I met my mom for Chipotle and that was that.

Fall 2016

I was only in Wednesdays because I had classes every other day. Basically, I was just doing a lot of grunt work in addition to social work, but I enjoyed every minute of it. It’s tough to remember everything I had to do but here’s what comes to my head.

-Buying a bunch of stuff for every “Larry’s Picks” video. I bought like every apple-themed product in Manhattan for one of them. Apple like the fruit. Apples, apple jacks, apple juice, apple cider, etc.

-For another, I had to buy a couch at Raymour & Flanigan. We needed it that day and they didn’t do same day deliveries so I had to argue with the guy at the store. (I was sent on my own for this mission). We finally worked something out and at the end he said “So what do you need this for anyway?”. I said “Oh, we’re just shooting a video with it.” He asked what type of video. No easy way to explain it, so I just said “Well, we have this gambling goldfish that picks NFL games.” He rolled his eyes and I left the store as fast as I could.

-I had to go this graphic design place so they could print designs on t-shirts we needed for a Chernin meeting. The people that worked there were real, um, “artsy” and not what you’d consider Stoolies. They started to trash Barstool a little bit being like “Why do you want shirts for this company?” I said “Well I work there.” Awkward!

PMT Boca Raton Wet The Beak Ponzi Scheme Awareness Bowl Intern Wrestling Match

This was the first time I really did anything with content. Hank told me to wear a costume and show up and we’d wrestle in a circle for an Outback gift card. I figured, sure why not? I dressed up as Jeff Fisher and carried around a playsheet that just said “Go 8-8” on one side and “Or 7-9 on the other.” I also had a Hulk shirt on, but I don’t remember why. My strategy was simple for the wrestling match: play Survivor. I tried to make alliances and just hide in the corner. I hate confrontation so didn’t want to push anyone.

It ended up not being a great strategy because there are no corners to a circle. Pretty sure I tripped out myself in the first round and Robbie pushed me out in the second. Dave dubbed it “the most embarrassing moment of the night.” Oh, well.

Spring 2017

The process for me coming back for the spring was me texting Gaz one night in November and saying “Does this internship go until next semester? I can come in Tuesdays and Wednesdays next semester” and he responded “sure.”

Super Bowl 51 in Houston

I was there for WFUV doing radio row and covering the game. One day at radio row, I saw Big Cat and PFT sneaking around and doing interviews. I went up to them and said hi. They almost dropped dead in shock of seeing me there with a credential and booth set up.

April 11th, 2017

The day I earned the “Alarmingly Stupid” nickname. I was sitting on the recliners next to the Rundown, as I always did. They were debating what the clot of blood boxers get on their head is called after a big hit. The correct answer was hematoma. But I had no idea what they were talking about and they wanted an answer fast.

For whatever reason, the first thing that came to mind was the episode of Seinfeld where the lady has a huge goiter. So I wanted to guess goiter. But I confused gout with goiter and gout is even more wrong than goiter. They wanted an answer and were mad at our Googling ability so I just blurted out, seconds after they had moved on, “gout!” That led to the following, about 15 minutes in

And a nickname was born.

April 26th, 2017

Nickname gets brought up again with Michael Rappaport. To be fair, I really did nothing wrong this time. He just thought I looked stupid, which I kind of do.

(Michael Rapaport would later be relieved of his duties here at Barstool Sports)

May 3rd, 2017

Continuing to solidify the Alarmingly Stupid nickname.

I actually never minded the Alarmingly Stupid stuff at all and tried to be a good sport about it. Honestly, it was better to be called “Alarmingly Stupid” than have nobody know who I was at all. And as far as demeaning nicknames go, there definitely could be worse. I actually look back at all this as kind of a blessing in disguise.

Summer 2017

I was doing a lot more social media stuff over the summer and was in more each week, but didn’t have a ton of stuff from a content perspective. The one huge mess up I had was the pistachio challenge.

June 1, 2017

It was the first day of the new summer interns. I was the grizzled vet at this point having been here for over 8 months. Dave wanted to do a pistachio challenge and needed someone to just get a standard bag of Wonderful pistachios. Two new interns tried and failed (shoutout Quigs and Radio Bren who both still work here too). Brett came to me as the veteran. I had run a million tasks for him and surprisingly really never messed up. But Dave was involved and I got the yips. To be fair, I was told to just get plain pistachios without any special flavor. So I had the choice of getting the standard ones, but the bag says “roasted and salted.” So I chose the one that said “No Salt.” I was so confident I got two big bags of them. NOPE

The entire pistachio saga starts with 13 minutes left in this Stool Scenes

Other than that, it was just a good summer meeting all the new interns and continuing to have more responsibilities. I also was a part of the Chippewas basketball team led by Tex and way a key part of the team in our championship winning game over Team Barstool. Just kidding, I played for like 26 seconds.

November 20th, 2017

This would probably be the biggest turning point day if I had to pinpoint one. I was at JFK just landing from Jamaica. Was there doing broadcasting for a Fordham basketball tournament. It was awesome. Anyway, as I was going through customs (or something like that) I got a text from Hubbs that said “I just blew you up.” I thought he meant he told them I was out galavanting in Jamaica, but no. He told them that I do broadcasting for Fordham. This kind of changed everything in Dave’s eyes as he now saw me as the Voice of Fordham instead of Alarmingly Stupid.

November 29th, 2017

Officially from Alarmingly Stupid to the Voice of Fordham and getting treated with “nothing but respect now.”

December 6th, 2017

First day I got to be on Barstool Radio. Had a meeting with Gaz that morning where he asked if there’s anything else I wanted to get involved with, and I said I’d help out with the new channel when it launches if needed since I had radio experience. Obviously, I meant like behind the scenes production stuff but when he told Dave that, Dave said “Well he can just come on air today.”

January 2018

Was going on radio more and Dave was starting to like me and “my weird brain.” I was even in the Team Portnoy training program. Well, then I went to Minnesota for the Super Bowl with WFUV and interviewed Sal Pal and I didn’t mention Barstool. Hand up, a mistake I regret. But it wasn’t a planned interview and he just randomly sat down for a few minutes and I froze up. I just wanted to give the best interview possible for Fordham’s sake. Still, I could’ve snuck in a question. Dave wasn’t happy so I tried to make it up with pistachios aaaaand I got the wrong pistachios again. I was legitimately upset with myself for awhile and set on righting the wrong and getting back on Team Portnoy.

March 2018

This obviously was the biggest “breakout” month for me. I don’t really want to rehash all of it because most of it was covered, and this blog was more for the behind-the-scenes stuff along the way. But I do want to acknowledge me and Dave calling the last minutes of Michigan-Iowa in the Big 10 tournament because that set the stage for all the March Madness stuff that would follow.

Then obviously there was the Facebook lives with Dave, which turned into the Vegas trip, which turned into the Final Four trip. Again, I’m not gonna rehash all of that, but here’s a quick sizzle recap.

And now I’m graduated and officially full-time. So that’s how we got here. Everyone has different stories on their way to Barstool, so figured I’d share mine because it’s been a wild journey but a fun one I’m grateful for. Now off to the moon.