A Guy is Arrested for Doing Drugs in a Hotel Bathtub Filled with Potatoes
Source – A drugged-up man was caught filling up a hotel bath with potatoes whilst wearing a bra during an epic five day MDMA binge. When Judge Peter Henry asked James Johnson why he was filling up a bath with potatoes he replied: ‘It felt the right thing to do at the time.’
Johnson, 30, was caught by officers wearing a woman’s bra over his shirt and carrying a bag of spuds as he entered the Travelodge in Eastleigh. Officers searched his room and found an ‘Aladdin’s cave’ of drugs, including ecstasy, another designer drug similar to MDMA called 5-MAPB and a psychedelic substance called 2CB.
Southampton Crown Court heard Johnson and two friends had decided to go on a one-night binge which ended up lasting five days.
James Kellam, prosecuting, told the court hotel staff phoned the police after smelling cannabis in the room. According to the Southampton Daily Echo Mr Kellam said: ‘They saw Johnson with the bag of potatoes and in women’s clothing. ‘It may be this that led officers to believe that he was intoxicated.’ …
Unyime Davie, mitigating, said that Johnson was ‘remorseful’ and an ‘intelligent man who made a mistake’.
Call me old fashioned. Call me set in my ways. Call me Old Balls if you must. But in the world I grew up in, you could take an Aladdin’s cave of designer drugs, throw on a bra to spend five days in a bathtub filled with potatoes and people would leave you alone. There was a respect for privacy. People understood that what went on between a consenting adult and hundreds of pounds of root vegetables was nobody’s business but their own. A man’s hotel room was his castle. Bathe in potatoes and let bathe in potatoes, we used to say. Not that I ever did it, mind you. But I had the freedom to if the mood just happened to hit me and no one would bother me. But thanks to the narcs at the Eastleigh Travelodge, that expectation of privacy is dead. At least for my man James Johnson.
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It’s stories like this that make me realize I’m missing out with my boring beer, wine and whiskey lifestyle. I have to think that any drug that would make you go on a five day bender that ends up with you soaking in a tub of starchy tubers must be fucking pissah. For instance, in the courthouse I worked in we once had a guy on heroin shit himself sitting in an office chair. And I thought about how amazing that high must be that you’d take that chance. Like if the beer I’ll have tonight watching the Celtics gave me a 1-in-10 billion chance of losing control of my bowels tomorrow, I’d swear them off for good. This guy had probably a 50/50 shot and decided he liked those odds. Same with Mr. Johnson here. It’s just a pity for his sake we no longer live in a world where an intelligent man can’t make a mistake behind closed doors without getting arrested for it. A damned shame.