Serious Question: Is Trump Allowed to Just Help Himself to the Word Spygate?
I have to admit waking up to this first thing this morning had me pretty shook for a minute or so. Spygate is just such a buzz word and has been for coming up on 14 years that reading POTUS Tweeting it with the word “scandal” in that 90 seconds or so before last night’s one-drink-too-many wore off and I’d shaken the pink fiberglass insulation out my head had me triggered.
Then of course I remembered that Trup, whatever his flaws, is friends with the Patriots’ Holy Trinity. And has been since way before Belichick ordered Matt Walsh to tape the Jets’ signals from somewhere other than the designated area where you’re allowed to tape opponent’s signals.
So The Donald would no doubt agree that the original Spygate is the most overblown, exaggerated, excessive and hyperbolic sports “scandal” of all time. And the most over-punished, until it was surpassed by Deflategate. Spygate the actual violation was nothing more than leaving your car by the airport Live Parking Only curb. A misdemeanor charge with a felony conviction and a capital punishment.
All of which begs the question: Is Donald Trump entitled to call the accusations against the Justice Department “Spygate?” I know he’s the President, but does that give him the power to take whatever “-Gate” suffixed name he wants for his scandals? Aren’t their checks and balances written into the Constitution to prevent this very thing? I mean, personally I liked this scandal best when it was “Golden Showers Dossiergate.” Or “Storm Daniels Got $130,000 to Keep Quiet About Banging Trump and Talked Anwaygate.” Both of which had a nice better ring to them than “The Mueller Investigation.”
And yet, after giving this all the considerable thought such an important question warrants, I’ve decided Trump can have the name Spygate. The word has been nothing but trouble for New England. It quickly became shorthand for everything the Patriots have allegedly done ever since. Including the myth of the Rams Super Bowl walk-through tape, who’s John Tomase admits is a fiction, no matter how many times the lie is repeated by ESPN. It cost us draft picks and the team $750,000. Sure, it’s inspired me to write a million blogs like this one and I’ve rocked them all. But unlike Deflategate ending with redemption, it ultimately led to 18-1 and that’s a loss I’ve still not gotten over. And we’ve been subjected to whiny, self-righteous little pissants from coast-to-coast discrediting everything this team has accomplished, all because of that one word.
So take it away, Mr. President. Like MAGA, yuge and covfefe, Spygate is all yours. Plus it’ll be fun 10 years from now everyone thinks Belichick spied on the Trump Campaign for the FBI.