Yes, Damon Feldman, I am calling you out for Barstool’s Rough & Rowdy 4. This might seem like a bold move because I’ve got spaghetti noodle arms & hail from a long line of women with osteoporosis, but I’ve been chugging a lot of Diet Coke lately & took a bizarre photo in a Krav Maga gym this winter. So yeah, I think I could take you now.
Perhaps I shouldn’t be so confident, especially considering your long line of work in the boxing world, but I know you could help pull in a big crowd. After all, Philly Mag says you were
“…great at landing publicity for Celebrity Boxing matches — exhibition bouts between reality TV personalities, porn stars, and people like Tonya Harding and Rodney King.”
You even got the ball rolling on this gem, though it never saw the light of day:
I may not be a TV star, or an ice skater with crow bar connections, or a rapper with a great barking voice, but I do have the two main traits of the type of person you like to punch…
1) I live in Delco
2) I have a vagina.
That’s your specialty, right?
“It’s a lie,” Feldman told us when we [Philly Mag] originally asked him about it on Tuesday. “I never hit her. I’m not a mean guy.”
He declined to comment further pending consultation with an attorney, but later sent a text saying that he did hit her but that he didn’t remember it, adding that he had been drinking and depressed.
Hey, I know you’ve been really busy lately promoting your latest spectacle, and this one is understandable because the women around you probably have to be great with cover up…
… but if you think you can find the time, come sucker-punching (heyyyo) into my DMs (@Katebarstool) & let me know if you’ll do it, you slimy, tacky t-shirt-wearing, awful-but-I-can’t-look-away-from-your-youtube-videos sackashit. If you’ll allow it, I’d love to at least get one swing in before I go down. Ahh, I know you will, you’re not a mean guy.
::Bonus terrible boxing promo vid featuring Lindsay Lohan’s Dad, Octo-Mom, Jimmy Kimmel’s Phone Contact::