I Don't Do Drugs - I Get High On Roller Skating.

Say yes when it comes to your life.  And when it comes to drugs and alcohol, just say no.  And go roller skating.” -Nancy Reagan.

Drugs.

The scourge of modern society.

In a 1986 address to the nation, First Lady Nancy Reagan said this:

“…Now you can see why drug abuse concerns every one of us-all the American family. Drugs steal away so much. They take and take, until finally every time a drug goes into a child, something else is forced out – like love and hope and trust and confidence. Drugs take away the dream from every child’s heart and replace it with a nightmare.”

This led to the launch of “Just Say No” clubs across the country. 10,000+ popped up from city to city: wise young children with excellent parents who knew that crack was whack, and that their brains on drugs resembled smashed and shattered eggs, yolks spraying everywhere.

D.A.R.E taught kids in schools around the nation about “keepin’ it real” and making good decisions when it came to the temptation of getting high.  This motherfucker would literally beat your ass if you even thought about taking a hit of that doobie:

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles taught us drug dealers are dorks and to just “eat a pizza” instead.  Gene Simmons taught us to just “get RAD.”  Pee-Wee Herman taught us crack isn’t cool.  Burt Reynolds taught us “you can’t be a hit if you’re high.”  And, most intimidating of all, Clint Eastwood told drug dealers: “TAKE A HIKE.”

But after all that, the threat still loomed.

Illegal narcotics still flooded our streets, from our inner cities all the way to the suburbs, poisoning our kids’ minds and corrupting their innocence.

Around every corner, a danger lurked:

A friendly older black man with a hand full of prescription pills.

Big Cat in 10 years with a van full of cocaine.

The local street toughs looking to do some bong rips before spray painting a warehouse.

They came in all shapes and sizes, they smiled and waved and helped you with your groceries.  But beneath their glossy demeanor was something much more sinister:

The desire to get you high as fuck.

But it’s not all doom and gloom.  Because there were heroes among us.  Everyday citizens who didn’t just lie down and let drug culture overtake their community.

Everyday citizens like Brad Armstrong and his solution to the nationwide epidemic:

Roller Kingdom.

The arch-nemesis of every joint and vial and dime bag.   A safe haven for the youth of Nevada, a sanctuary where they could get high, not on drugs, but on sick nasty rail-grinds.

Soon, the local gangs and dealers found themselves out in the cold, with a large surplus of weight that they could no longer move, because their customer base was inside the Kingdom shredding up the rink on 4 wheels.

So to Brad Armstrong, the Roller Kingdom, and the thousands of good citizens around the country just like him: we salute you.

And, in the paraphrased words of Nancy: “to young people watching or listening, I have a very personal message for you: There’s a big, wonderful world out there for you full of roller-skating. It belongs to you. It’s exciting and stimulating and rewarding. Don’t cheat yourselves out of this promise. Our country needs you, but it needs you to be clear-eyed and clear-minded and roller-skating.”