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BREAKING: Massive College Admissions Cheating Scandal, Involving Famous TV Actresses, Where Parents Bribed D1 Coaches MILLIONS Of Dollars To Get Their Kids In

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NBC Boston- At least 40 people, including two Hollywood actresses, have been indicted by the FBI and the U.S. attorney’s office in Boston in a nationwide college entrance exam cheating scandal, NBC News reported, citing court documents.

The documents, which were unsealed Tuesday morning, allege that the accused aimed to facilitate students getting into high-profile D-1 schools, including Georgetown, Stanford, UCLA, Yale, University of Texas, University of San Diego, University of Southern California and Wake Forest as recruited athletes regardless of their athletic ability.

Hollywood actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin are among the two of more than 40 charged in connection with the scheme, according to court documents. 

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Saw this story. Immediately command-f’d “Harvard.” 0/0 results. Then:

Unbelievable story. UNBELIEVABLE. We’ve got college coaches getting NARPs (non-athletic regular person) into reputable universities in exchange for BIG bribes. So far, we haven’t seen much about Stanford, Georgetown, or the others. But the one set of court documents that we have?

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Once again…

Turns out, honorable YALE isn’t quite so honorable. What’s been brewing in the waters of New Haven? Why don’t we start with the head coach of the women’s soccer team, Rudy Meredith.

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Meredith has held the head coaching position since 1995. 23 years (he just resigned, obviously). That’s a TENURED coach by D-1 standards. In 2015, Coach Meredith met a dude named Singer, who runs a college prep advisement company. As a tutor, I used to deal with these companies a lot. They help craft students’ applications, edit (write) their personal statements, and run mock interviews to prepare them. My job was just to help kids with their SATs, but these companies were in charge of the broader admissions process. Some of them would charge tens of thousands of dollars once all was said and done, with bonuses worked in based on the schools to which the kids eventually gained admission. Quite a racket.

Somehow, Singer and Meredith jumped into bed together. Singer presented one applicant to Meredith—a girl who doesn’t play soccer at all, doesn’t own cleats, can’t juggle. Meredith brought her application to the admissions committee and presented her as a recruit. She gets in to YALE and the family sends Singer $1.2 million as recompense while coach Meredith was greased to the tune of $400k. I’m guessing that Ivy League soccer coaches make around $100k a year, so that’s a pretty fucking nice payday. But it gets even better.

For the next applicant, coach Meredith cut out the middle man and went straight to the family. This time, he met with the girl’s father in a hotel room to discuss the bribe. They didn’t know it, but the FBI was recording the meeting (AWESOME!!!!!!). The father agreed to pay the coach $450,000 to get his daughter in to YALE. Given the extra $50,000, we can only assume that this girl was WAY less athletic. I’m picturing some mousy, glasses nerd with zero hand-eye who runs a 7.6 forty. Someone that the admissions committee would have a very hard time buying as a soccer player. Gotta pay up when the risk is higher.

Early reports are saying that some families paid up to $6 MILLION in bribes to get their kids into these schools. BAAAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT. THE. FUCK?!? If you have $6 million to throw around to get your kid in to college, just donate it to the school! Isn’t that enough to guarantee your kid a spot? I don’t know much about how the whole “family name on a building” thing works, but I would think that a $6 million gift for a couple new tennis courts would make it very hard for the admissions committee to reject your daughter.

How are these actresses—Huffman and Loughlin—involved? They were paying bribes to get their kids in. Huffman (Desperate Housewives) bribed an SAT official to rig their kid’s scores for a measly $15k. Loughlin (Full House) went the athletic route and paid $500k to get her daughters designated as rowers at USC.

You can believe I’ll be all over this story. Will keep updating as the details emerge. For now, I’ll just remind everyone that the Harvard athletic department adheres to the highest ethical recruiting standards. I went through the goddamn ringer: multiple interviews, two cracks at the SAT to get my scores up, and I had to take a ton of APs senior year to make it clear I wasn’t taking it easy just because I knew I’d get in. I’m sad to see that YALE—a school towards which I once harbored a healthy, competitive respect—has been revealed as a corrupt enterprise. For a measly $450,000, your daughter can become a bulldog. Just buy her a pair of shinguards first.

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PS- my sister played lacrosse at YALE, my mom coached the first women’s tennis team, and my grandfather ran track. lol. Can’t WAIT for Thanksgiving!