Are Millennials Buying Too Many Sandwiches?

STANDARD – Millennial couples priced off the London housing ladder could save enough for a deposit in five years by giving up six “luxuries” ranging from phone upgrades to overseas mini-breaks, it was claimed today.

New analysis suggests that potential homeowners from “generation rent” could accumulate the £64,000 they need for an average London deposit — after help from parents — within half a decade by making “relatively small changes” to their lifestyles.

According to the calculations from agents Strutt & Parker, giving up a night out once a week could save more than £6,000 a year, and cutting out takeaway meals would knock £2,640 off household spending.

Preparing lunch at home rather than buying sandwiches or salads saves £2,576 on average, and cutting out an annual foreign city-break could be worth another £700 a year.

This dude’s advice is so funny:  millennials need to stop “eating sandwiches, having holidays, and going out at night” to afford a house.

So basically the key to owning a home is not living a life.  If you sit in an empty cabin tied to a chair like Devon Sawa in Final Destination after enough years you’ll have enough in the bank to buy a small house that you can then spend your time recuperating from the emotional trauma of not having any sort of fun whatsoever for the past decade.  You’ll be middle aged and clinically depressed but god damnit you’ll own that one story ranch that you blanky stare at a TV screen in all day and night because you’re not equipped to socialize.

Anyway, yet another “Millennials are ruining XYZ” article, a genre I already tore apart in a Royal Rumble of a takedown blog.  This one was a top Twitter moment this morning and caught my eye for being so hilarious.   Millennials can’t buy homes because they buy sandwiches.  Too funny.

Hey guess what idiot Boomers? I don’t want your fucking house! How about that?  I want to rent. I want to have the choice to move wherever I want whenever I damn well please. I want to go on a website and click a couple buttons and have literally anything in my apartment fixed by the time I get home from work. For free.  My apartment is sick.  Does your house have Omar the Doorman who greets you with a big smile and hands you your paper and congratulates you on your Sirius channel and asks about your fantasy team?  Nobody cares about you in your house.  Fuck your house.

Also, for the record – making food at home is not cheap!  Why does everyone always say that?  I spend so much more money going to the store to buy cold cuts and stuff for dinner than I do getting takeout.  And what about the time it takes to make it? That’s time I could have spent working. Maybe millennials are lazy at work because they’re busy spending their time doing your other suggestions like making fucking sandwiches.

Millennials for life.