Andy Reid Owes America An Apology For Not Hitting The Over On Sunday Night Football

Hey Andy Reid, I’ve got a question for you. What’s your fucking problem dude? Everyone and their mother hopped on the Chiefs over tonight of 56.5 and was cruising to a nice week-ending W. Everyone loves a Sunday Night Football over especially with Patrick Maholmes slinging the pill all over the place. For a few hours I was happy for the first time in a couple weeks. The Bengals couldn’t stop a nose bleed, Mahomes refused to throw incompletions, and it was skyrockets all night long. With 12:56 to go in the 4th, Mahomes found Tyreek Hill in the endzone to go up 45-10. Fantastic, we just needed a field goal and America would go to bed happy.

After a quick three and out from the inept Andy Dalton that lasted just one minute, the Chiefs offense stepped back on the field just needing one score in any possible fashion to bring us home. I was a little nervous the Kool Aid Man would pull the starters since they were up 35 and there was no need to risk injury. Nope, everyone came back on the field and the offense obviously began to move with ease. They ran reverses, seam routes, the whole works. On a 3rd and 4 from the Cincy 45 Spencer Ware broke loose and sprinted down the left side line looking for pay dirt. He was tackled at the 11 with 6:46 to go. Perfect, this was great. I’m sure some people even turned off the TV to go to bed thinking they were that much richer. What followed should be considered murder in this fine country and Andy Reid should be put behind bars for life.

So after running all the cool gadget plays to get down here Andy decided to run three straight runs into the gut of the exhausted Bengals defense. You asshole. Why are we driving all the way down here to basically take a knee? Well, a field goal would have obviously brought a smile to everyone’s face right? Andy decided to keep the offense ON THE FIELD FOR FOURTH DOWN. Why? There’s no rubbing it in your face with a field goal, it’s just football. Al Michaels started hinting at the over number like he always does in these spots without fail. So what did the Kool Aid Man cook up for his fourth down special? He basically told Spencer Ware to jog to the left a few feet and get tackled. Turnover on downs inside the five. Death.

With 4:14 left Jeff Driskel, a former horrible quarterback for the University of Florida, checked in for his first snaps ever as an NFL QB. He had zero sense of urgency and waltzed down the field at a jogger’s pace, letting the clock bleed out and crushing our once-lock-over’s dreams to smithereens. Yeah, that’s as bad as a Sunday night gets folks. I guess I’m going to go watch a sad movie or something. That hurt me, that hurt Big Cat, that hurt Mush, that hurt Glenny, that hurt White Sox Dave that hurt all of us degenerates. That was cruel. None of us deserved that. 55 points through basically three quarters and then nothin the last twelve. That’s brutal.

I demand an apology from Andy Reid. We all should.

If you took the under, you’re a monster.

P.S. This is also on the Bengals for only scoring 10 points on a defense that has struggled all year long, but I’m putting it on Andy right now because I’m lashing out.